The Paddler

Current

August (Part 2) 2023

“The first step to recovery… is acquiring a problem.”

In this issue…Which should be read while listening to: Francis Cabrel’s “Edition Especiale”

Messages from Your Admiral
What to do Upon Arrival at SWB
Law Enforcement
RV Info, Procedures, and Tips
How Electric Works at SWB
Camp Showers
The Final Work/Party
Bman Tix and Vehicle Passes
Camp Breakdown and Loading (aka Strike!)

MESSAGES FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

MESSAGE #1: As y’all probably heard… the playa was literally closed for a few days because of the rainstorms. Well, as of noon yesterday, it’s finally open again. Spanky’s early-build crew (as well as all Bman build crews) is dealing with a 3-day delay. We’re behind the 8-ball, but we’re still gonna win this dusty billiard game! The SWB Early Build crew are now at our location (7:30 & Encantado) and they’ve done the village survey/layout. They’re now building structures, laying out the power grids, and I’ll (hopefully) be joining them tomorrow. We have never been so well prepared for early build… and the crew is organized and prepared to bust their asses (extra hard) to have the entire village infrastructure ready for the official Sunday opening of the Bman gates. When you get to the playa, be sure to say a big THANK YOU to all the hard-hittin-mutha-fukkas on the SWB Early Build crew!

PERSONAL NOTE: I’ve been working on SWB stuff in Reno for a few days. I’ve spent most of my time doing work/party stuff and trying to solve other people’s “emergencies” and have not had time to take care of my personal Bman needs. I’m kinda stressing… ok really stressing… ok fine, I’m having full-blown panic attacks (send Xanax!… lol). My point is… please don’t contact me to ask if I can do something for you or pick something up for you. I’m only focusing on me right now. I was supposed to be on playa yesterday and I’m wiggin out atm. Thanks.

MESSAGE #2: YET ANOTHER UPDATE ON THE CONDITION OF YOUR ADMIRAL

Thanks to a few donation from some very loving and generous Spankers… I now have enough $$$ to make it to Bman! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Getting off-playa, work/party in Reno again, paying a new month’s worth of bills, and surviving until the next progress-payment on the house-remodel I’m doing after Bman… well that’s another story. If you’re in a position to help get my ass OFF the playa, donations can be sent via PayPal to: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

WHAT TO DO UPON ARRIVAL AT SPANKY’S

Okay… you traveled hundreds (thousands?) of miles. You endured the gate road, did will-call, suffered the gate interrogations and inspection, drove through the city, found Spanky’s at 7:30 & Encantado, you’re breathing a sigh of relief, and feeling excited and giddy… what now?

The first thing you MUST DO is check-in! The check-in location is SWB Headquarters (SWB HQ), where I am camped (Admiral Painjoy – APJ). If you look at the map on the SWB website, I’m at grid-location A7. There is a temporary parking spot for check-in. If it’s full, park around the corner at the Guest Art Car Parking location, or Bike Parking location. DO NOT park on Bman streets or Spanky’s internal streets… they must remain clear for emergencies and fuel deliveries and RV services!

Once you are at HQ, find me, or Dano, or Amethyst. We can get you checked-in, give you a cold drink, and listen to the tales of your journey. Then we will bring you to your camping location.

DO NOT SET UP YOUR CAMP OR RV UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE CHECKED IN AND BEEN PLACED! Thank you.

LAW ENFORCEMENT

There are MANY different Law Enforcement Agencies to contend with on your journey to Bman (and at Bman). Here’s the best advice I can give you… don’t break the law, dammit.

Make sure your vehicles are in tip-top shape, registered, insured, and don’t speed… at all! Also, be sure not to obstruct your license plate in any way (like a bike) and make sure the lights that illuminate your license plate are working. I kid you not… you will get pulled over and ticketed.

And that’s where the fun begins. Cops (NV State Troopers, Sheriffs from Pershing & Washoe County, BLM Rangers, and more) love to try to intimidate you once you’re pulled over. They will use every trick in the book to get you to incriminate yourself. Know your rights… but be polite and respectful.

Here’s a couple links to help:

RV INFO AND TIPS

Once again… DO NOT TRY TO PARK YOUR RV AT YOUR CAMPING LOCATION UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE CHECKED-IN AT SWB

And here’s some more great RV tips and info: RV Tips

HOW THE ELECTRIC WORKS AT SWB

There are two power grids in Spanky’s Village… The Spanky’s Grid… and the RV Grid.

THE SPANKY’S GRID

This is a power grid for our front yard attractions and tent campers (not yurts or shiftpods with A/C… or RV power). This grid can handle low power needs like; lights, charging phones etc, maybe a small coffee maker, vibrating personal health devices… that sort of stuff. You can identify the Spanky’s grid by following the big cables to their terminus. If it ends at a 4 outlet box (quad box) on the ground, it’s the Spanky’s grid. If it ends at an RV, it’s not for your use (just that RV’s people).

Feel free to plug your extension cord into the Spanky’s grid. There should be a quad box within a 50’ radius of your camping space. If the quad box is full, you can plug in a splitter to add your cord. Don’t merely unplug a cord and plug yours in… that’s just friggin rude. Be sure to write your name/initials on your cords and splitters!

If the quad box isn’t providing power, a breaker (or GFCI) probably tripped. Don’t try to reset it yourself. Find Olaf or a member of his SPOOGE Team (see the “who’s in charge of what?” page in your SWB welcome pack… in association with the SWB village map to find electrical help). The daily Camp Bitches can probably help too.

Also, if a breaker has tripped, that means the group of Spankers plugged into that box are drawing more than 15amps. You’ll need to negotiate with your “box mates”… or plug into a less taxed box.

RV POWER GRID

This grid is for those Spankers who pre-paid for RV power. This grid connects directly to your RV. When you arrive at SWB, after you check-in, your “Placer” will help you connect to the grid. DO NOT try to plug your RV into one of the quad boxes on the ground… this could damage your RVs electrical system. If you’re having problems with your RV power, find Olaf or one of his SPOOGE Team members (use the “who’s in charge of what” page in your welcome pack… in conjunction with the village map to find them).

HOW THE SHOWERS WORK AT SWB

Spanky’s has a camp shower. It’s centrally located in the village. Naked Larry is the official shower-nazi. He builds and maintains the shower. He also collects empty water containers for recycling… but that doesn’t mean you can leave other trash in or around the showers! He camps near the showers. He’s easy to find… he’s naked and he’s Larry.

If you want to use the shower, bring your own water over (2-5 gallons, depending on how luxurious a shower you want). When you walk into the shower, you’ll see a wide vertical tube near your feet. This is where you pour your water in. (((PRO-TIP… leave your water jugs in the sun for a couple hours before showering, so the water warms up.)))

Once the tube is filled, you’re ready. Turn the water on with the switch on the wall. Conserve water by wetting yourself down, then turn the switch off and lather up. Then turn the switch back on to rinse off. Repeat for your hair.

Please don’t leave personal belongings behind! Nobody wants to use your shampoo or soap or toothpaste!

THE FINAL WORK/PARTY

(by Ish-a-licious – Quartermaster & Work Party Manager)

PLEASE RESPOND IF YOU’RE ATTENDING…ASAP! (The dates are Wednesday, Sept 6th – Saturday Sept 9th

Immediately after BMan, we need to bring everything back to Kevin’s (Safari RV off Kitzkie Lane in Reno), unload, clean organize and repack everything into the storage areas. This is the one that really counts! Please plan to stay a few days after Bman and help out… or come back to Reno after you drive home.

We need a headcount of who’s going (and when). Please email me at: ish@spankys.org

More info about all work/party weekends: Skunkworks

CAMP BREAKDOWN AND LOADING (AKA… STRIKE!)

All great things must come to an end. At the end of Bman, on Sunday, we begin breaking down the camp. It’s a lot of work!!! But as I always say, “Many hands make light work”. This is an ALL-HANDS-ON-DECK day. We all help with STRIKE!

Ish-A-Liscious (aka Ish) and Dano are the leaders of STRIKE! Anyone trying to leave Spanky’s/Bman to avoid helping with STRIKE will not be invited to camp with us ever again. Nothing pisses everyone else off more than people who aren’t part of the SWB Team until the bitter end. When you signed up to join SWB this year, your application asked you if you would stay until the end and break down the camp and MOOP. Unless you made arrangements with me (Admiral Painjoy) when you signed up, you gave us your word that you would help on Sunday and Monday.

If you come to me or Dano on the playa and tell us that (suddenly) you’re unable to help with STRIKE, we will respond with two questions…

Who has agreed to do your share of STRIKE?
OR 2- Are you making a massive financial donation to the final work/party weekend so we can all go out for sushi?

PAST

2023

August (Part 1)

“The first step to recovery… is acquiring a problem.”

In this issue…Which should be read while listening to “Dope” by Demeter

Messages from Your Admiral
SWB Events Listing
Village Map
SWB Appetizer Program
Packing for Bman/Spanky’s
WUSSI – Workshift Sign-Ups OPEN!
2 More Work/Party Weekends
Leave No Trace (part 5)

MESSAGES FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

(by Admiral Painjoy)

MESSAGE #1: The Paddler isn’t the only mass-email that you’ll be receiving henceforth. Managers of the various departments of Spanky’s will be sending emails to people doing shifts in their depts… regarding ticket issues… sign-ups for shifts… sometimes to the whole mailing list.

I mention this because (for security reasons), we all send out mass-emails as a BCC (blind cc) to all the recipients, so that we avoid sharing everyone’s email addys with everyone else on the mailing list.

I mention that because it’s sometimes confusing to determine if an email was sent directly to you, or to a group.

Sooooo, to help alleviate the confusion, all of SWB Management is under a new directive to include “***BCC email***” in the subject line of all the mass-emails they send out.

Sorry if this caused some confusion in the past.

MESSAGE #2: Most of you know that 2023 is a “transitional year” for Spanky’s. Some new procedures and structure. Smaller, simpler camp this year. Lieutenant Dan (CLIT) being trained to take over the role of camp leader. A more steadfast and empowered management team that can take up more of the workload for Dano in future years… etc.

This is being done for many reasons, not the least of which is, so that I (Admiral Painjoy) can be promoted up-and-out of the day-to-day operations of SWB. I’ve done it for over 15 years (nearly 25 years if you count the other camps/projects I’ve run at Bman) and well… I’m tired man. I’ve loved doing it, but it has come at a cost… physical, emotional and mostly financial.

However, I ain’t leaving. I will still be the top banana, but I will be more of “Chairman Emeritus” who’s job can be best described as “cultural, directional, and artistic leader”. I’ve spent many years shaping and shepherding Spanky’s into a fun, renowned, and respected sex-positive camp at Burning Man. And I will continue to, not only guide the camp, but also be part of any/all new ideas and changes.

That being said… <insert trumpet fanfare>

Under the Big-Ass-Shade-Structure (BASS) at Spanky’s in a few weeks (Saturday, Burn-Day, Sept 2nd at 4pm… to be exact), the torch will be passed!!! Dano, aka Lieutenant Dan, aka CLIT (camp leader in training), will be coronated as the new Executive Director, President, King, Queen, HMFIC of Operations, Commander of the SWB Pacific and Atlantic Fleets, and all-around zarkin-frood (Douglas Adams reference.. Google it).

This auspicious and historical event will be part of the Mandatory SWB End-of-Week Meeting… so I’m sure you’ll all be there to bear witness to the celebration and carnage!

MESSAGE #3: AN UPDATE ON THE CONDITION OF YOUR ADMIRAL

I originally wanted to have SWB take this whole year off, in order to be able to do the transition/training of Dano and the Management Team at a leisurely pace… but all-y’all weren’t havin’ it. Most everyone couldn’t bear the thought of a year without The Infamous Crown Jewel of Burning Man Bars being on the playa… and of course, we all wanted to be together (myself included). For many of us, it’s the one time of year that we all get to see each other. So, I reluctantly capitulated to the angry/horny masses. But I did this knowing that (after last year… aka the most challenging year at Bman for most of us) I would be agreeing to another challenging year.

This year, I have not only been running things, but also teaching most everything I’ve learned about running a theme-camp. A typical year running SWB takes up around 1000 hours of my year. I thought this year would possibly come close to 2000 (the amount of time spent at a full-time 40 hour/week job). Well… I passed 2000 hours a few days ago and we haven’t even hit the playa yet! This has SEVERELY impacted the amount of money I was able to make as a contractor this year.

Most of you have been following the trials and tribulations of my Ford F150 (aka The Spank Tank). After countless breakdowns, a new engine, replacement of various parts/sensors/etc, it was still having serious issues… even after spending around $10k on it. I’m happy to report.. that all ended while I was working the past few weeks in Pahrump, NV. With the help of fellow Spanker “Dragger”, we were able to use his top-notch mechanic to diagnose, and finally solve, the problem. It was an additional $3k, but the Spank Tank is now purring like a kitten. And a big thank you to all who helped!

So, here’s my point. At this particular moment… I can’t go to Bman. The hours spent working on money-making have been few… and the hours spent on SWB have been many. And the money spent on the truck is over $13k of unexpected costs, above and beyond my normal bills and expenses.

If I’m going to make it out to Bman with you guys, I can only do it with financial assistance. I have around $500 to my name right now. And I’m about to spend another 4 weeks working on SWB stuff (and the burn itself). If you’re in a position to help get my ass to the playa, donations can be sent via PayPal to: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

SWB EVENTS LISTING

SUNDAY – OPENING DAY

10am-ish to Noon: Morning Painjoy Radio
10am to 2am: Buffer Zone
All DJ slots are currently available from noon to 9pm
9pm to 11pm: DJ Peacetree
11pm to close: DJ Dirty Dan

MONDAY

10am-ish to Noon: Morning Painjoy Radio
10am to 2am: Buffer Zone
Noon to 4pm: DJ slots Available
4pm to 5pm: MANDATORY SWB CAMP WELCOME MEETING
5pm to 7pm: DJ Jilly of the Valley
7pm to 9pm: DJ Texture
9pm to closing: FASTER PUSSYCAT! KILL, KILL! (Our feline-themed femdom/kink party… and an homage to Russ Meyer’s classic cult pulp fiction film from 1966)
9pm to Midnight: DJ MoBad
Midnight to 2am: DJ PJ (Admiral Painjoy)

TUESDAY

Spanky’s Wine Bar and the SWB Kink-Attractions are (un)officially closed. Spankers… feel free to go out and enjoy Burning Man!

3:14 pm: Camp Pie Hole – Pie Eating Contest
- Bring a partner and your creative side to join this pie eating competition! We will have prizes for the team that is the fastest, most sensual, most creative, and funniest at eating pie
- “Pies” will be whipped cream in a tin to make this cleaner on the Playa
- No hands can be used by either teammate
- The goal will be the find the cherry in the whip the fastest, the most sensual, the most creative, or in the funniest way
10am to 2am: Buffer Zone
4pm to 6pm: The Little Black Dress Parade with The Burning Band at Snowflake Village – Esplanade and 7:30

WEDNESDAY

10am to Noon: Morning Painjoy Radio
10am to 2am: Buffer Zone
Noon to 2pm: DJ slot Available
2pm to 4pm: DJ Sex Panther
4pm to 6pm: DJ Lauren Frisk
6pm to 9pm: DJ Niloc and Olivia Rose Goth Jam
9pm to 1am: SPANK DAT BOOTIE!
- World Famous Bootie Mashup DJs Adriana & Jupiter!!!
- They always draw a huge crowd and bring down the house!

THURSDAY

Spanky’s Wine Bar and the SWB Kink-Attractions are (un)officially closed. Spankers… feel free to go out and enjoy Burning Man! (more explanation below)

3:14 pm: Camp Pie Hole – Pie Eating Contest
- Bring a partner and your creative side to join this pie eating competition! We will have prizes for the team that is the fastest, most sensual, most creative, and funniest at eating pie
- “Pies” will be whipped cream in a tin to make this cleaner on the playa
- No hands can be used by either team-mate.
- The goal will be the find the cherry in the whip the fastest, the most sensual, the most creative, or in the funniest way
10am to 2am: Buffer Zone

FRIDAY

10am to Noon: Morning Painjoy Radio
10am to 2am: Buffer Zone
Noon to 5pm: DJ slots Available
5pm to 7pm: Company Sound System DJs
7pm to 9pm: DJ Jordan Davenport
9pm to close: FRIDAY FURRIES PARTY
9pm to 11pm: DJ Chris Mendel
11pm to 2am: The Galactic Effect DJs

SATURDAY

10am to 2am: Buffer Zone
10am to 2pm: DJ slots Available
4pm to 5pm: MANDITORY FINAL CAMP MEETING (and the coronation of Dano!)
2pm to 6pm: Celtic Chaos Take Over DJs
6pm to 7-or-8pm: DJ Caro Ledge
7pm to 10pm: THE MAN BURNS (SWB closed)
10pm to 2am: DJ Rich Green… Guest DJ? (Dirty Dan?)

SUNDAY

8am to 6pm: CAMP BREAKDOWN AND PACKING (all hands on deck!)
Afternoon: The Last Supper (Camp Meal at Eve’s Kitchen)
7pm to Midnight: THE WINE-DOWN PARTY (aka…SWINE BAR) Dirty Dan and DJ PJ (Admiral Painjoy)

MONDAY

All Spankers finish packing up, loading up, and participate in the final MOOP sweeps.

NOTE:

So… here’s the deal with Tuesday and Thursday. Because this is a transition year for Spanky’s we wanted to make it a smaller/easier camp. So… less events, less attractions, less infrastructure, and less people. Less Spankers means less manpower available for workshifts.

Plus, we wanted to give Spankers some guaranteed time to go out and enjoy Bman with whomever they want, without having to worry if they have a workshift when you wanna hang/party with them.

Also, even though we are going to be closed on Tuesday and Thursday, Spankers are still allowed to hang out at the bar and play some playlists off their phones, etc. if they don’t feel like going out. But the bar should NOT be lit up… and the music should STAY AT A LOW VOLUME. We are NOT trying to attract customers. We will not have the manpower to have all necessary departments functioning (like security, sanctuary, kink stuff, etc.).

REGARDING OPEN DAYTIME DJ SLOTS…

Contact DJ Dirty Dan if you’re interested in playing some music during the open slots listed above. djdirtydan@spankys.org You don’t need to be a pro-DJ. You don’t need professional equipment. Dirty Dan will show you how to safely use the mixer (and microphone if you want). It’s a piece of cake. All you need is a playlist on your phone (or other device). And it doesn’t need to be EDM… daytime is the perfect time for eclectic music! Blues, rock, country, classical, oldies, whatever!

Village Map

The Village map is available here

SWB APPETIZER PROGRAM

A gentle reminder… we all do this… and it’s glorious! Appetizer Program

PACKING FOR BMAN/SPANKY’S

If you don’t use this… you’ll surely die! Packing List

WUSSI – WORKSHIFT SIGN-Ups!

Respond now, or you may get assigned shifts.

But first, a message from Admiral Painjoy…

“We are in a transitional year at SWB. We are experimenting with some new ideas, procedures, and management. For this reason, there have been some things we are learning and adjusting as the year progresses. So please bear with us… and thank you for allowing SWB Mgmt to modify/change some of our procedures as we move toward the Burn! With that in mind, here is some clarification and adjustment to our sign-up and WUSSI procedures…

Everyone needs to sign-up for workshifts at Spanky’s. If you’re part of another camp within Spanky’s Village (Buffer Zone or Pie Hole) you are expected to do workshifts for your camp… and shifts with Spanky’s are optional.

If you are working in the SWB Kink Dept, or SPOOGE (power grid and generator), or Trigger (the orgasmic saddle), or Camp Bitch… these count as workshifts, but as we recently decided, they are shifts that you should “apply for” rather than merely signing-up (this will be amended in the WUSSI system next year) These particular jobs may require training, professional experience, a certain demeanor, or a minimum number of years at Bman/Spanky’s to do the job. Regarding THIS YEAR… if you are accepted into one of those jobs (by that dept head), you STILL NEED TO NOTIFY Christopher Robbin codeblue@spankys.org so can record the shift/hours and knows that you are fulfilling your minimum 16 hrs of shifts.”

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

~APJ~

(by Code Blue)

Many of you have signed up for some workshifts, but have not yet signed up for the minimum 16 hrs. Please go back to the website/WUSSI and complete your sign-ups.

And for those who missed it last month…

What’s WUSSI? I’m glad you asked.

It stands for “Workshift Unified Sign-up System Interactive” (we love dirty acronyms!)

In a nutshell, it’s where you sign-up for your workshifts at Spanky’s. Major-D created WUSSI, and he did a mighty fine job. And I, (Christopher Robbin – Code Blue) took it over this year. Signing up for workshifts is easy-peasy. Every Spanker must do a minimum of 16 hrs of workshifts… but it’s okay to sign-up for more!

These are the workshifts relating to running the village during the week of the event. Soooo… work/party weekends, early build, break-down, and MOOPing after the event don’t count toward your 16 hrs. Workshifts are jobs like bartending, running the Spank-O-Matic machine, being a Master or Mistress, doing ice runs, etc.

The Jobs are listed (along with descriptions) on the SWB website (click on a job name to get the description

Once you are familiar with the available jobs, click the big red “SIGN UP HERE” link on that same page of the website. That will bring you to the website where you can see the availability of jobs and time-slots.

You’ll be asked for your full name (first/last) and email, but only your first name and last initial will show publicly. You must use the email you used when you applied to camp at Spanky’s. Contact me if you have any questions or problems: codeblue@spankys.org

Remember, we are one of the premiere camps at Bman! We are party throwers (as well as party goers). Spanky’s only works if we all pitch in. And most of these “jobs” are super-fun!

TWO MORE WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

(by Ish-a-licious – Quartermaster & Work Party Manager)

PLEASE RESPOND IF YOU’RE ATTENDING EITHER…ASAP!

Our next work/party weekend is just before “early build”…. aka starting now! August 18-22 (Friday-Tuesday). We still have a lot to do! We’re building a brand new DJ booth. More stuff needs repair/painting. And there’s lots of loading-up trucks/trailers. We need your sexy bodies at Kevin’s place (Safari RV in Reno… email me for the exact location if you’ve never been.)

There will also be a bunch of administrative work to do, like printing, collating, stuffing envelopes, laminating, shopping, etc. And of course, lots of fun, partying, and camaraderie!

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT WORK/PARTY WEEKEND…

Immediately after BMan, we need to bring everything back to Kevin’s in Reno, unload, clean organize and repack everything into the storage areas. This is the one that really counts! Please plan to stay a few days after Bman and help out.

We need a headcount of who’s going (and when). Please email me at: ish@spankys.org

ALL UPCOMING WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

August 18-22 (fri-tue) – paperwork, welcome packs, construction, painting, loading, loading, loading
Post Bman – September 5-7 (tue-thu) – unloading, unloading, unloading, cleaning swb stuff, cleaning generator, cleaning trucks/trailers

More info about all work/party weekends here

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 5

(Ongoing series by For Now & For Later – SWB LNT Managers)

Hi Spankers! This is “For Later” (aka Tanya). My husband (“For Now” – aka Bob) and I are the “Leave No Trace” Managers for Spanky’s. This is the fifth in a series of informative ongoing articles in The Paddler.

What do we do with MOOP?

I will break it down for you. There are 3 types.

YOUR MOOP.

The stuff you generate in your camping area, RV, or tent is all yours. Whether it is beefaroni cans, peanut butter jars, lobster tail shells, or the annoying hard-plastic packaging that your double-ended dong came in… it’s yours. Take it all home with you and dispose of it in a proper receptacle. Also, and I *hate* having to say this, but please dispose of your pee/poop bucket properly, without spillage (aka MOOP). Everyone understands that tenters need them. Be respectful. Yes, I have a story about that. Another time.

Also, SWB’s LNT Staff will be making daily rounds around the Village, checking out your personal camps. If you have MOOP (or the potential for MOOP… like stuff that can easily blow away), they are required to ask you to correct the situation immediately.

CAMP MOOP.

Everyone will be expected to help collect and dispose of camp MOOP. Camp MOOP is bar trash, trash left in common areas, and trash found on our internal streets. Bags of camp trash will be distributed among all Spankers throughout the week. If you have a larger RV or truck you may be asked to take a few more bags than the tenter with the car packed to the gills. The good thing is the Wine Bar trash will be less than previous years. Wine boxes break down and the wine bladders can be flattened out. Cans all go to Center Camp for recycling (during the daily ice runs). And we have very limited glass-trash.

BRC MOOP

This is the MOOP on the roads surrounding Spanky’s Village. It is our responsibility to collect and dispose of this MOOP too! We will be doing it on a daily basis (read: Daily LNT workshifts), but also during our Sunday/Monday MOOP sweeps at the end of the event!

On a side note, at the end of the event, after you’re done packing your vehicle, please pull forward a bit and check for oil/fluid that may have leaked onto the playa… and black or blue/black tire marks. That is MOOP. We have shovels available to scrape that up.

As you head home after Bman, PLEASE PLEASE continue to be a good, responsible Burner. Make sure your vehicle-load is secured well. The exodus playa-road is deeply rutted and bumpy!!! When you get close to the highway, during exodus, take the time to re-check the integrity of you load! Don’t accidentally dump any MOOP along the roads leading away from Black Rock City, or whatever burn you are at. That is SO disrespectful. Those people have to put up with lines of traffic and noise. Don’t leave them trash as well. There are several Bman Org. recommended dump sites. Check out your handouts given to you at the Greeters Station upon arriving at BRC. Also, there are also several locations along Hwy 447 where the local Tribes offer to buy your trash for $5 per bag. This $$ helps those local communities.

IMPORTANT… Don’t just leave your bike on the Playa if you no longer need it. (A huge problem) There are people along the exit roads that would be HAPPY to have it. Gift it. Don’t just leave it.

The Bman Org’s Playa Restoration Team (aka Resto) generates an annual MOOP map. Said map notes where each camp was and how well they MOOPed that year. A theme-camp’s MOOP RATING plays a big part in determining a theme-camp’s status for the following year. If really bad it may affect if your camp can return at all.

And let me close by saying…MOOPing isn’t just being a responsible Burner, it’s making sure you can continue to enjoy the remarkable, amazing, inspiring, uplifting, freeing, exhilarating planet that we all inhabit. Keeping the playa pristine is great, but let’s all take this ethos with us everywhere we go in the default world as well. Leave it better than you found it!

Love, For Later

July (Part 2)

“The first step to recovery… is acquiring a problem.”

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to this hilarious spoken-word piece by Simon Rich called “I Love Girl”

SWB T-Shirts for Sale
WAPs (early build – last call)
WiFi at Spanky’s
WUSSI – Workshift Sign-Ups OPEN!
2 More Work/Party Weekends
Leave No Trace (part 4)
Bman Tix and Vehicle Passes
RV Mating and RideShares
Coming in the next issue of The Paddler

WB T-SHIRTS and PATCHES FOR SALE

(by Admiral Painjoy)

YOU MUST ACT NOW… LIKE, UH, NOW… SERIOUSLY, NOW!

We have had some delays on the T-shirt artwork in recent weeks… so sorry for the delay. And that means we’re behind the 8-ball on ordering these haut couture masterpieces of shirt-art!

IN OTHER WORDS… we’re placing the shirt order next week, so if you want a 2023 SWB T-shirt… buy it now… like right now!

We also have some leftover cheerleader uniform SWB Patches from last year (APJ is out-of-pocket on those, so buying one helps him recoup funds he shelled out).

To view/purchase T-Shirts or Patches, go here: Schwag

IMPORTANT!!!….. BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR REAL NAME AND WHAT YOU ORDERED (STYLE/SIZE)

WAPs (LAST CALL – WORK ACCESS PASSES… FOR EARLY BUILD)

(by Dano – CLIT)

After spending a few days at 4^th of Juplaya, I’m happy to report that the playa is still there! And the playa conditions are solid! And we are ready to put an amazing theme camp right on top of it. If you have never been to Build Week (August 21-26 this year) it is pretty cool. We get to watch the city rise from the desert. It is magic. But to arrive early, you need a WAP (work access pass).

But besides magic, it is also a lot of hard work, and not much partying. The Bman Placement team has allocated ample Work Access Passes for SWB. lf you’re so inclined, be sure to send me (dano@Spankys.org) an email indicating your availability and skill set so we can prioritize WAP allocations. Let me know which day you will be arriving.

Early build begins on Monday, August 21st. The gates to Bman open on Sunday, August 27th

WiFi AT SPANKY’S

(by SpankIT)

Good News, Everyone! We’ve updated much of our networking kit for 2023 and should be able to get you that sweet, sweet Wi-Fi more reliably and in more parts of the camp. Here’s the info you’ll need to connect:

Wi-Fi Name: Spank Master 9000
Password: SpanksAlot2023

That should be all you need to connect, but please keep the following in mind whilst using the Wi-Fi:

The Spank Master 9000 Wi-Fi network is for Spanky’s members only. Please do not give this out to our guests
We have a separate Wi-Fi network called “Spanky’s Wine Bar at 7:30 & E” for our guests to use
- Please tell our guests about it!
- There’s no password for our guest Wi-Fi, but they will have to tap “Login” on a landing page
- Guests will have to tap “Login” again after an hour
- The guest Wi-Fi is throttled to help conserve bandwidth
- If a guest needs more speed in an emergency, please have them contact me
We only have a single Starlink connection to share between all of us, so please be mindful of your usage
The Wi-Fi should be the strongest in the BASS, Sanctuary/Kitchen, and around my RV
Feel free to contact me if you need any help
Whilst we’ll do our best to keep the packets flowing, electronics and Playa dust don’t go so well together. Spanky’s can’t guarantee the network will be up 24/7, or at all.

That’s it for now. Can’t wait to see you beautiful people on the Playa!

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

WUSSI – WORKSHIFT SIGN-Ups OPEN!

(by Code Blue – Supreme Commander of Workshifts)

What’s WUSSI? I’m glad you asked…

It stands for “Workshift Unified Sign-up System Interactive” (we love dirty acronyms!)

The Jobs are listed (along with descriptions) on the SWB website (click on a job name to get the description: Work Shifts

You’ll be asked for your full name (first/last) and email, but only your first name and last initial will show publicly. Contact me if you have any questions or problems: codeblue@spankys.org

TWO MORE WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

(by Ish-a-licious – Quartermaster & Work Party Manager)

We had a very productive work/party last week/weekend. Big thanks to everyone who helped!!

Our next work/party weekend is just before “early build”. August 18-22 (Friday-Tuesday). We still have a lot to do! We’re building a brand new DJ booth. More stuff needs repair/painting. And there’s lots of loading-up trucks/trailers. We need your sexy bodies at Kevin’s place (Safari RV in Reno… email me for the exact location if you’ve never been.)

There will also be a bunch of administrative work to do, like printing, collating, stuffing envelopes, laminating, shopping, etc. And of course, lots of fun, partying, and camaraderie!

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT WORK/PARTY WEEKEND…

We need a headcount of who’s going (and when). Please email me at: ish@spankys.org

ALL UPCOMING WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

August 18-22 (fri-tue) – paperwork, welcome packs, construction, painting, loading, loading, loading
Post Bman – September 5-7 (tue-thu) – unloading, unloading, unloading, cleaning swb stuff, cleaning generator, cleaning trucks/trailers

More info about all work/party weekends: Skunkworks

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 4

(Ongoing series by For Now & For Later – SWB LNT Managers)

Hi Spankers! This is “For Later” (aka Tanya). My husband (“For Now” – aka Bob) and I are the “Leave No Trace” Managers for Spanky’s. This is the fourth in a series of informative ongoing articles in The Paddler.

Why do we care about MOOP? Because…we are not alone!

The playa may look empty, desolate, abandoned by Mother Nature but it’s not. It is a special ecosystem that is important to the surrounding scrub brush, dunes, hot springs, and mountains… and all creatures that abide there, as well as migrating birds, and, let’s be honest, all of the horny Branchiopods (fairy shrimp!) patiently waiting for rain so they can get their groove on. Did you know that the Black Rock Desert becomes a shallow lake most winters?

The Black Rock Desert is much more than the 5 square miles of Playa we all call home in the summer. It is 200 square miles that actually included a lake 15,000 years ago. (Lake Lahontan to be exact) High Rock Canyon hosts bighorn sheep, horned owls, red tail hawks, prairie falcons, and even golden eagles. Around the playa you might see kit foxes, antelope, ground squirrels, kangaroo rats (I would like to see one of those), horned lizards, deer, and rattlesnakes (I would NOT like to see one of those).

Point is…we care about Leave No Trace because don’t we want to Radically Include everyone and everything? Isn’t it our Civic Responsibility to put in Communal Effort to promote and protect Mother Nature’s works of art? If we all Participate Immediately we can assure Radical Self Reliance for the natives of BR Desert with the Gifting of Decommodification protection allowing the Radical Self Expression of all life out there. Whew!

Love, For Later

BMAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES

(by Red Queen – SWB’s Ticket Maven)

I’m pleased to report that we are in great shape for tickets. Spanky’s has a few tickets that will be available soon, for those in need. Plus, this is the time of year when tix/passes begin falling from the sky. We’re still finding vehicle passes for a few Spankers, but I’m not worried.

Please send me an email (redqueen@spankys.org) if you find what you need without Spanky’s assistance, so I can remove you from the “in need” list. Otherwise, hold tight and we’ll get to you soon.

RV MATING AND RIDESHARES

(by Amethyst)

What is RV mating? Well kids, when two RVs love each other very, very much…

But seriously, if you have spot(s) open for an RV mate, or would like to join an RV crew, or are willing to have a fellow Spanker(s) road trip with you or would like to get picked up for a road trip to the Playa or return to the default world, email me, Rod (Amethyst) and I will coordinate connecting hosts with mates and riders with drivers. amethyst@spankys.org

Want an RV Mate?
Email me:

Your name and phone number
Where you are originating from
Your dates of Playa arrival and exodus
How many RV mate spot(s) you have
Picture(s) of your ship on wheels. No other details are needed about your amazing RV accommodations or admission rituals and costs, you will provide the list of luxuries, oddities and costs directly to your potential RV mate(s).

Want to be an RV Mate?
Email me:

Your name and phone number
Dates you are planning to arrive on the Playa and return to the default world and
Casting couch picture. If you also need a Rideshare, include the Rideshare information below in same email.

Want to offer a Rideshare?
Email me:

Your name and phone number
How many Rideshare spot(s) you have
Where you are originating from
Picture of your vehicle
The dates you are starting your trek to and from the Playa and/or Reno. No other details about your sweet ride, safe word or fares, you can brag it up with your possible captive who will need to endure your taste in music.

Want to get a Rideshare?
Email me:

Your name and phone number
Where you are originating from and/or heading to after exodus
Date(s) you are able to get picked up and/or ejected to the default world
Head shot of you on a car hood

After I help you connect, I leave your threesome or more and you do your seductive negotiating and arrange any exchange of payment. All mating arrangements and Rideshare agreements are settled between hosts and mates, drivers and riders.

Check Spanky’s Facebook for status on supply and demand for these services and other updates.”

Rod (Amethyst)

July (Part 1)

“Of course you’re the best dancer at Spanky’s” ~Sincerely… Wine~

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: “Jerusalem” by Dan Bern

A Message from your Admiral
SWB Has Been Placed
WAPs (early build)
4th of Juplaya
Burning Man Tickets
WUSSI – Workshift Sign-Ups OPEN!
Work/Party Weekends
Leave No Trace (part 3)
Send Us Your Pics For The SWB Website
Anyone Have a Vehicle Disabled Placard?
Coming in the next issue of The Paddler
SWB Staph

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

Only 55 days until most of us head out to the playa for Bman! That came up rather quickly, huh? I can’t stress the importance of reading these newsletters (and the info on the SWB website). The info contained within can make the difference between having an awesome Burn, and dying a horrible death (and being devoured by kit foxes!). And remember… your SWB Management Team stands at-the-ready to answer any questions you couldn’t find in The Paddler or on the site. (Their email addys are listed at the bottom of every issue of The Paddler)

I’m happy to report that we are steaming ahead during this unusual “transition year”… and Dano (our CLIT – Camp Leader In Training) has been burning the midnight oil and busting his ass learning the ropes, so to speak. I’m very proud of my CLIT 😉

Many have been asking for an update on The Spank-Tank and my travels. The short answer… I’m in Reno now and ready to lead the troops to Juplaya and oversee our 2^nd work/party weekend immediately after.

The longer answer: WOW! That was the longest trip to Love Burn on record! If you haven’t been following… Shortly after LB, the engine mysteriously died in my truck. It got replaced, but it took time and a lot of money (and my deepest thanks go out to those who helped!). But that unfortunate problem led to others. Because it was such an unexpected and huge expense (around $8k, total) I wound up having to stay in the Southeast to do work on friend’s homes so that I could pay bills (and start saving up the money to get back out west). I was able to replace the tires on the Spank-Tank as well ($800, but long overdue). And I departed the southeast last week.

I did have a couple hiccups along the way though. Broke down in Nashville and had to replace a sensor. That cost a half-grand, all said and done. Then in Missouri the truck started misbehaving again. But I was finally able to complete the journey. Sadly though, I have arrived here with very little $ remaining… the trip/repairs depleted all the funds… and the truck still needs some mechanical attention.

I’m desperately looking for work in Reno and/or California. If you need work done on your home (or if your friends/family are in need), I’m a talented, experienced General Contractor. I do just about everything; from handyman work, up to full kitchen/bath remodels. If possible, I want to remain working in the Cali/Reno area until Bman. Or if you’re able, donations are still accepted via PayPal to: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

SWB HAS BEEN PLACED

(by Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC)

The Bman Placement Team told us a couple weeks ago. Our Playa-address is: 7:30 & E. And we have a corner lot. Our size is 250’x350’ which is adequate. Myself, Dano, Doug, and Olaf are getting started on our Village map. We should have it done-ish in the next couple weeks. Once it’s done, we will post it on the SWB website.

This location is fine and dandy for our needs! It’s a little closer to the portos and the esplanade. And with our smaller numbers… we will have more room for bike parking, for our guests!

WAPs (WORK ACCESS PASSES FOR EARLY BUILD)

(by Dano – CLIT)

If I squint, I can see Burning Man from here! That means we are getting close to the best week of the year: Build Week! If you have never been to Build Week (August 21-26 this year) it is pretty cool. We get to watch the City rise from the desert. It is magic. But to arrive early, you need a WAP (work access pass)

But besides magic, it is also a lot of hard work, and not much partying. The Bman Placement team has allocated an ample amount of Work Access Passes for SWB. lf you’re so inclined, be sure to send me (dano@Spankys.org) an email indicating your availability and skill set so we can prioritize WAP allocations. Let me know which day you will be arriving. Below are your current choices…

We have 10 WAPs that allow entry starting on Monday, August 21^st
- We survey and lay-out the camp roads, structures, etc on this day
16 more for Tuesday, August 22^nd
- We lay-out the power grid cables and build the kitchen on this day
15 more for Wednesday, August 23^rd
- We unload the trucks/trailers and start building structures on this day… BASS, SWB HQ, etc
8 more for Thursday, August 24^th
- We trench cables, build more structures, attractions, lighting, work on “welcome packs”, finish the power grid
And 6 more for Friday, August 25^th
- We finish the attractions, bar, kink dome, signage, etc
Saturday… Zero WAPs available this day.
- This is the contingency day to solve problems and finish anything that fell behind schedule… also, “soft opening” party
The gates to Bman open on Sunday, August 27th

4^th OF JUPLAYA

(by Admiral Painjoy)

PAYPAL YOUR JUPLAYA DUES NOW PLZ!

All those attending, please pitch in $69.00 toward Juplaya Dues. This pays for generator fuel, beer/wine, ice, etc. PayPal to: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com right away.

If you’ve never been to the playa when it isn’t Bman, this “non-event” is a real treat! In my opinion, it’s just a good as Bman… but different. The vast, stark, and romantic vastness of the Black Rock Desert is much more vivid and breathtaking when you’re not in the confines of the Bman trash fence, surrounded by flashy theme camps, loud music, and huge structures.

“4^th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days. You can drive fast (But be careful! It’s easy to roll your vehicle at high speed). You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs. You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc). There are some theme camps and art cars. Very few cops. Lots of random parties. Vast open space. Cool burners.

You can explore the outer reaches of the playa, the whole Black Rock Desert, High Rock Canyon, the emigrant trails, Soldier Meadows, etc There’s (sometimes) a fireworks show put on by the town of Gerlach. Those attending Juplaya tend to camp in small groups… scattered ALL OVER the vast playa. This makes for interesting party-hopping at night 😉

We will head up to the playa on Saturday, July 1st… and depart early on Wed, July 5^th. But you can show up any time. Playa location is the spot where they build The Man (use Google maps…text me if you need exact directions). After driving through Gerlach, drive around/up the playa to the 12-Mile Entrance to the playa. Drive roughly half-way across the playa and we’ll be around there.

BURNING MAN TICKETS

(by Red Queen – SWB Ticket Maven)

I’m pleased to announce that the Bman Placement Team has offered SWB some additional STS tickets/passes for purchase… so we are now in great shape on tickets. Next week, those who need tix (and qualify… i.e. didn’t already purchase tickets in another Bman sale) can register for this ticket sale.

So if you still need a ticket… email me right away, and I’ll give ya the skinny on this ticket sale and other options if you don’t qualify. If you were on our “needing a ticket” list, but already found a ticket, I need to know that too.redqueen@spankys.org

WUSSI – WORKSHIFT SIGN-Ups OPEN!

(by Code Blue – Supreme Commander of Workshifts)

What’s WUSSI? I’m glad you asked…

It stands for “Workshift Unified Sign-up System Interactive” (we love dirty acronyms!)

The Jobs are listed (along with descriptions) on the SWB website (click on a job name to get the description: Work Shifts

You’ll be asked for your full name (first/last) and email, but only your first name and last initial will show publicly. Contact me if you have any questions or problems: codeblue@spankys.org

WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS – Redux

(by Ish-a-licious – Quartermaster & Work Party Manager)

Next work party will be next week…after 4^th of Juplaya on Thursday-Sunday (July 6th-9^th). The focus will be on maintenance. repainting all the bar cubes and repainting DJ booth, stages, showers, etc. Also checking all lights for the BASS, bar, dome, etc. And loading up the trailer with as much as we can to have it ready for build.

We’ll also be building all carports, making sure we have the right parts and that they are ready. Also, repainting all tables and bar chairs that we are going to take. And making sure the Spankys signs are working (Sorry we’re open and the Spanky’s Wine bar sign).

We need a headcount of who’s going (and when). Please email me at: ish@spankys.org

ALL UPCOMING WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

July 6-9^th (thur-sun) – repairs, painting, construction, cleaning, etc
August 18-22 (fri-tue) – paperwork, welcome packs, construction, painting, loading, loading, loading
Post Bman – September 5-7 (tue-thu) – unloading, unloading, unloading, cleaning swb stuff, cleaning generator, cleaning trucks/trailers

More info about all work/party weekends: Skunkworks

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 3 – MOOP CONTROL!

(Ongoing series by For Now & For Later – SWB LNT Managers)

Hi Spankers! This is “For Later” (aka Tanya). My husband (“For Now” – aka Bob) and I are the “Leave No Trace” Managers for Spanky’s. This is the third in a series of informative ongoing articles in The Paddler

Let’s talk MOOP control…

So, we know what MOOP is…Matter Out Of Place. If it doesn’t belong there it shouldn’t be there, right? What do we, as responsible Burners, and respectable humans do about that? We pick it up. If you see it…it is yours.

How? That’s easy. In your backpack, camelback, fanny pack, bicycle basket, pockets, girly pocket (you know, that space between your boobs that you can store stuff), or wherever you carry the important stuff (such as 1-ply TP) add a ziplock bag for MOOP. Be prepared. Chase that stuff down if necessary. Feathers are notoriously difficult to catch. (2022 was exceptionally difficult).

Keep trash around your camp contained. One strong wind and crap goes everywhere. Reference 2022 just above. Don’t use sticky notes or pieces of paper in door jambs to leave messages. Think about it. If it may blow away (and evolve into MOOP) it will. Close camp chairs when not in use and even make sure shade structures are well anchored. You never know. It’s even a good idea to use tent pegs on rugs and mats.

On another note. If everyone de-MOOPs all week then we are ahead of the game. I am always de-MOOPing around my RV. I diligently watch out for MOOP as I walk through camp. I keep an eye out as I ride my bike. (Once I found a beautiful medallion that was barely visible because I stopped deep playa to pick up MOOP…true story) de-MOOPing is not a one-time thing at the end of the Burn. It is a lifestyle. Please reference my first article.

Later!

Love, For Later

SEND US YOUR SWB PICS FOR THE WEBSITE

(by SpankIT… SWB Technology Guru)

I’ll be sprucing up the SWB website in the next couple of weeks. We’d love to showcase your Bman/Spanky’s pics on the site. Just make sure you have the permission of everyone that’s in the pic, for it to be posted on the site. Email to: spankit@spankys.org

WE STILL NEED SOMEBODY WITH A HANDICAPPED PLACCARD

(by Admiral Painjoy)

If you have an official, state-issued Handicap Placcard/Card/Etc… we really need your help. We use my truck (the Spank Tank) to do Camp ice runs every day… but the vehicle needs “handicap status” from the Bman DMV (department of mutant vehicles) in order to make that happen. Please contact me right away if you can help.

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE PADDLER

Events Listing
LNT Part 4
SWB T-Shirts For Sale
Village Map

June

“Our camp is like a fairy-tale. Unfortunately it’s a German fairy-tale”

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Tom Lehrer’s “Masochism Tango”

A Message (or two) from your Admiral
Placement schedule
Burning Man Tickets (STEP to it!)
RV Services
Two More Work/Party Weekends
Leave No Trace (part 2)
Anyone have a vehicle Disabled Placard?
SWB Events and DJing
Security at Spanky’s
4th of Juplaya
Vouching for an SWB Newbie
Coming in the next issue of The Paddler
SWB Staph

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

The transition has begun!

As most of you know, after 25 burns, and 15 years of creating, running, and evolving Spanky’s into the “Infamous Crown Jewel of Burning Man Bars”, I am promoting myself to a sort of “Chairman Emeritus” position. Because, well, I’m friggin tired and I need to take care of myself… lol. And I need to start focusing more on my business and retirement. Over the past 20+ years, I’ve literally donated over one million dollars of my time to Bman and Spanky’s. And while I’ve loved the time I’ve spent on my camp… my brainchild… my legacy… and especially loved the relationships that have emerged from it all, it’s time for me to release my iron grip on running the camp/village and all the minutia.

To clarify, I’m certainly not leaving… but (for the past year-or-so) I have been teaching Dano (newly dubbed – Lootenant Dan) about the day-to-day responsibilities of running SWB, year-round. Dano has been my CLIT (Camp Leader In Training). During the 8 months, we have also been restructuring SWB’s Management Teams, as well as the way they operate. And furthermore, with the help of Dano, Major-D, and SpankIT, we’ve been empowering SWB’s Management Teams and giving them the tools/info they need to more autonomously run their departments.

June 1st marked a milestone in this transition. Until then, I was the go-to person regarding all things SWB… and Dano was CC’d on emails, included on texts, and informed of all conversations. And up until now, I’ve been making the decisions while discussing and instructing Dano. But starting last week, Dano has accepted the “soft hand-off” as the camp’s ostensible leader. Dano is now the go-to guy for everything… and I’m the one who is CC’d and informed. Dano now makes most of the executive decisions (with me in the background, looking over his shoulder in a creepy way, ensuring that he doesn’t accidentally enter the launch-codes or turn SWB into a religious cult). FYI (if everything goes as planned), Dano will become the official leader of SWB at the end of Bman this year. We should have a coronation ceremony on Saturday (Burn Day) on the playa!

I have to say… I’ve been very impressed with Dano (and the whole SWB Management Team) during this training/transition period.

APJ’s announcement #2..

As most of you heard, your Admiral is still stuck down in Florida. The engine in The Spank Tank (my Ford F150) mysteriously died. Le Sigh. Well… thanks to a big loan, some generous donations (thank you!), and depleting my meager savings… The Spank Tank underwent a $6k heart transplant, and it’s driving again! But that was only part of the problem.

The loss of my vehicle for a month incurred many expenses; Ubers, car rentals, towing charges, etc., and of course… a month without income, but a month of normal bills (falling behind on some). Thankfully, I’m doing some work for Quantum Glen in So. Florida at the moment… but that only gets me part of the way to being “on the road again”.

I’ve got a couple more weeks of work down here, then I HAVE TO get back out west again. After all… I have a work/party weekend in Reno coming up (not to mention 4th of Juplaya). If you’re able, I sure could use some financial assistance.

Also, I’ll be in the Reno/California area for the summer. If you, or a friend/family member need any work done on your home… I’m booking jobs there! Please let me know. I’m a top-notch contractor with 35 years of experience, and gobs-and-gobs of references! I specialize in kitchen/bath remodels, but I’m also willing to do handyman work. On top of being a GC, I’ve been licensed for plumbing/electrical as well. I’m a unicorn!

Again, any donation helps to get me our west again. PayPal to: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com And thank you, thank you, thank you!

Looking forward to an AMAZING Spanky’s this year!!!

HugKissSpank

apj

PLACEMENT SCHEDULE (by Lieutenant Dan)

Just a reminder… The Bman Placement Team doesn’t give us our “playa address” and size/shape of the village until late June. So we can’t answer any of your questions or create the village map until after Placement gives us that info.

Also, the Placement Team won’t be giving us our WAP (work access pass) allocation until around then also. These are the passes you need for early build on the playa. However, they have always been very generous with WAP for SWB in the past… so I’m sure we’ll be able to accommodate everyone who wants to arrive on the playa early to help build the village.

If you’re trying to solidify your plans and schedule (i.e. buy plane tix, make hotel reservations, etc.) contact me and I’ll be sure to prioritize you on the WAP list. dano@spankys.org

BURNING MAN TICKETS – STEP to it! (by Red Queen)

If you still need to purchase a ticket to Bman…

IMMEDIATELY go to your Burning Man profile and sign-up for S(ecure)T(icket)E(xchange)P(rogram)…. 2023 Secure Ticket Exchange Program (STEP) | Burning Man Tickets. The Bman STEP program is the easiest way for people that have tickets to safely resell them and for you to buy them. It opened on the 26th of April, so you need to sign-up NOW!
Email me at RedQueen@spankys.org and let me know if you are still in need of a ticket, so I can get an accurate list.
Get ready/prepped for the 2 remaining sales of the year
Make sure to send an email to our SWB Recruiter and Ticket Procurer (Bacon Daddy). Bacon Daddy (Jonathan) is a highly connected Burner. He’s been doing Bman for a long time and knows lots of key people. And he’s on every chat-group and FB page, constantly scouring the ether for aftermarket Bman tix for sale. He’s going to do his best to get everyone in SWB a ticket. But you’ve got to get on his radar… bacon@spankys.org

May 10th – Burner Express Bus Program (Ticket Bundle Version – only available if you’re actually taking the Burner Express Bus) – Burner Express (burningman.org) A limited number of tickets will be available to purchase when you purchase a ticket to the Burner Express.

July 26-28th – OMG Sale Registration and August 2nd OMG Sale – 3000 tickets will go on-sale for the final official sale through the BMorg.

Just a reminder to not lose hope if you don’t have a ticket yet, we will get you taken care of and set with a ticket to buy. BUT you have to be signed-up and PAID to be a part of Spanky’s!

**Side Note – If you got tickets from FOMO or Main sale (or some other avenue) and haven’t let us know, please email me and let me know if you’re set.

Love you!

Red Queen (Amanda) redqueen@spankys.org

Oh… and one more thing. Every Spanker (who hasn’t purchased a ticket DIRECTLY from Bman) can and should enter STEP. We still have lots of Spankers in need of tickets. If you are able to purchase tix in STEP, we have Spankers-in-need at the ready to buy them from you. Even if you already have a ticket (that you purchased as a “ticket partner”) you can still enter STEP to help out your fellow Spankers.

RV SERVICES (by Amethyst – RV Services Manager)

POTABLE WATER REFILLS – GREY/BLACK WATER PUMPOUTS – RV ELECTRICAL POWER

These services are not part of your camp dues and must be paid for in advance. Only one week left to place your orders!!!

Amethyst & Solar – AKA…Rod & Karla, are in charge of coordinating these services with the vendors, and collecting the fees.

Send your order information to amethyst@spankys.org and he will send you an invoice and payment information.

NOTE: Payments can only be received via Zelle, check, money order or wire transfer.

CUT-OFF DATE FOR ORDERS IS NOW

CUT-OFF DATE FOR PAYMENT IS JUNE 17

The following services are available for purchase for RVs at Spanky’s:

Water fills and pump-outs are available only on the following dates, typically happen before noon and you will not need to be present. You will need to ensure that access is available to your pump-out connection and water fill inlet.

When ordering, please specify date(s) for water fill(s) and pump-out(s).

Monday, August 28
Wednesday, August 30
Friday, September 1
Sunday, September 3

GREY/BLACK WATER PUMP-OUTS – $110 each

NOTE: If you want to manage your own pump-outs, the vendor will have “flag down trucks” available on Playa, usually available after 2:00 pm and only take cash. This will be up to you to handle!… and it’s not a dependable way to go…and this is only for “pump-outs” of grey/black water (NOT POTABLE WATER REFILS).

POTABLE RV WATER FILLS – $150 each (flat rate up to 75 gallons)

NOTE: The vendor will not have flag down trucks available on Playa for water fills

Water will be added to RV fresh water tank until full or 75 gallons have been added (whichever comes first). If your tank takes all 75 gallons, that’s $2.00 per gallon (same price per gallon charged in 2022). If your tank only takes 50 gallons until full, that amounts to $3.00 per gallon (which is what the vendor will charge per gallon on Playa)
You cannot specify how many gallons you want, it’s a flat rate
You cannot have surplus fill water added to extra tanks/containers (if your tank only took 40 gallons to fill, that’s it)

DEDICATED POWER; 20, 30 or 50 AMP (limited subscriptions available)

50 amp (limited availability) – $1100 (common for RVs with 2 air conditioners)
30 amp (28 available) – $550 (common for most RVs with one air conditioner)
20 amp dedicated power (12 available) – $350 (common for yurts to run a small air conditioner)

NOTES – Do not try to air-condition your tent… it doesn’t work. Also, don’t attempt to use the Spanky’s “free” power for an air conditioner (either in a yurt or RV). You will trip the breaker and be disconnected. And don’t expect to buy power on-playa when you trip breakers… it’s too late then… none will be available.

The people/vendors who provide these RV services are doing a VERY hard job under the most adverse conditions. They are honest, hard-working and do their very best to fulfill all your needs. So please understand– it’s Burning Man!… it’s the desert… there are always unforeseen variables… and sometimes things break-down unexpectedly. It’s not the end of the world-we’ll do our best to help figure it out!

Amethyst & Solar – RV Services Managers (their job literally SUCKS!)

TWO MORE WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS (by Ish-a-licious – Quartermaster & Work Party Manager)

Next work party will be after 4th of Juplaya on Thursday-Sunday (July 6th-9th). The focus will be on maintenance. repainting all the bar cubes and repainting DJ booth, stages, showers, etc. Also checking all lights for the BASS, bar, dome, etc. And loading up the trailer with as much as we can to have it ready for build.

We’ll also be setting up and building all carports making sure we have the right parts and that they are ready. Looking at repainting, all tables and bar chairs that we are going to take. And making sure the Spankys signs are working ( Sorry we’re open and the Spanky’s Wine bar sign).

We need a headcount of who’s going (and when). Please email me at: ish@spankys.org

ALL UPCOMING WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

July 6-9th (thur-sun) – repairs, painting, construction, cleaning, etc
August 18-22 (fri-tue) – paperwork, welcome packs, construction, painting, loading, loading, loading
Post Bman – September 5-7 (tue-thu) – unloading, unloading, unloading, cleaning swb stuff, cleaning generator, cleaning trucks/trailers

More info about all work/party weekends: Skunkworks

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 2 – What is LNT/MOOP?

(an ongoing series by For Now & For Later – SWB LNT Managers)

Hi Spankers! This is “For Later” (aka Tanya). My husband (“For Now” – aka Bob) and I are the “Leave No Trace” Managers for Spanky’s. This is the second in a series of informative articles that will be in upcoming issues of The Paddler.

What is LNT?

LNT, or Leaving No Trace, per Burningman.org… ”Our community respects the environment. We are committed to leaving no physical trace of our activities wherever we gather. We clean up after ourselves and endeavor, whenever possible, to leave such places in a better state than we found them”.

What does this mean?

Well… If it wasn’t there before any humans got there then it shouldn’t be there when humans leave. No matter if you dropped, it blew away, or it dropped off of you… it’s your MOOP. This applies to Bman porto-potties too. If it didn’t come from your body, it doesn’t go in the pottie.

What is MOOP?

Matter Out Of Place. Anything that does not naturally occur on the land on which an event is taking place. What are some examples of MOOP? Any trash. Wrappers, cig butts, ashes, paper products, beverage containers, etc.

What else? What about MOOP such as feathers, sequins, and, oh my, glitter? These are really bad because they are hard to pick up but just as MOOPy as a burger wrapper. How many birds do you see wearing sequins? Or, hairy lizards? BTW, hair is MOOP too.

What if it’s biodegradable? Surely THAT’s not MOOP? But it is. How many oranges do you see growing on the Playa? How about apple trees?

And, even more gross, gray water, pee, and No 2 are most definitely MOOP. Sad that I have to say it. Always pack that 1-ply TP for that surprise trip to the porta-pottie. More on that to follow.

And lastly, a really serious form of MOOP is a leaky RV. Whether it is from gray or black water tanks or from under the engine of your vehicle. Drippy, oily, greasy, whatever is MOOP. I pack an extra tarp that we put under our rental truck (making sure the tires are on top to keep it in place) JIC it is leaking something. Be diligent in examining your vehicles before driving onto the playa (or any burn) if possible. Probably a good idea anyway. Wouldn’t want any bad surprises. Good surprises are, well, good though.

See ya in the dust!

Love,

For Now and For Later

STILL LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY WITH A VEHICLE “DISABLED PLACARD”? (by APJ)

At SWB, the Admiral’s personal truck has always been the one “authorized disabled vehicle”. And we use his truck for, well, everything… ice runs, disabled-person transportation, medical emergencies, deep-playa art car rescues, playa art-tours, etc.

We need a second vehicle, which isn’t a huge problem… but we need a person with a state-issued, legit, disabled placard to do it. Do we have anyone else that’s going to Bman this year, that has a disability placard?

Contact APJ at: admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

SWB EVENTS AND DJing (by DJ Dirty Dan)

Hey Spankers, It’s your man Dirty Dan (SWB DJ and Event manager), getting ready for 2023!!!

So first on the agenda is DJing with your own playlists. Any Spanker is welcome to connect a phone (or iPad, etc) to the sound system anytime we do not have a scheduled DJ in the bar area (or special event). This can be done via 1/8 cable (headphone jack basically or dongle for iPhone) it will be made readily available for you at the DJ booth. If you have any questions during burn, ask me or someone at the bar who has been with Spanky’s for a little bit.

Second, I am filling slots for actual DJ sets. I have plenty late morning and afternoon slots available. If you already played at SWB in the past please reach out ASAP for sets! This year we currently have the following days/time available; (all of Sunday, all of Monday, Tuesday daytime only, Wednesday day and early evening, Thursday daytime only, all of Friday, and all of Saturday and Sunday day) Please send DJ demos with genre of music labeled in the email.

We currently have two events on the schedule…

Wednesday night will be our big, annual Spank-dat-Bootie party with Adriana and Jupiter (always a packed house!) and Friday night we’re doing a Bman-Themed event called “Friday Furries”. So bring your fur coats/outfits, or wear your “anmimalia”!

This year we are also open to having Spankers come up with some events for these available slots, so if you have a kinky or wild idea for an event please reach out to me via (dirtydan@spankys.org)

We had a tough year 2022 with weather but our parties were still f*ckin redonculous!! So let’s do even better this year, looking forward to your ideas and music. Spank ya very much!

SECURITY AT SWB (and the job of Camp Bitch)

We’d like to welcome Webster to the SWB Management Team! He is Spanky’s new Head of Security. This year, the jobs of Camp Bitches will also assist with Security… and report to Webster regarding these matters (and Code Blue for all other Camp Bitch matters). Soon the SWB workshift sign-up system (WUSSI – Workshift Unified Sign-up System, Interactive) will be up and running.

If you’re an experienced Spanker/Burner, please consider signing up for a shift or two as Camp Bitch!

The job description (as well as all the others) can be viewed here: Work Shifts

4TH OF JUPLAYA! (by APJ)

I need a headcount! This is looking like it may be the best 4th of Juplaya yet!!!

Email me if you’re coming: admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

NOTE: Because Bman tix are sooo hard to get… and the fact that the 4th falls on a Tuesday (creating a natural long-weekend), I predict that 4th of Juplaya with be huge this year… and awesome!

“4th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days. You can drive fast (But be careful! It’s easy to roll your vehicle at high speed). You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs. You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc). There are some theme camps and art cars. Very few cops. Lots of random parties. Vast open space. Cool burners.

We will be setting up a small version of Spanky’s there. We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator, fuel, bar ice, etc. We don’t know how many people are going yet, so it’s impossible to set camp dues at this time, but Juplaya camp dues will probably be around $69.00 per person. More info coming soon.

We will probably head up to the playa on Saturday morning, July 1st… and depart early on Wed, July 5th. But you can show up any time. Playa location is the spot where they build The Man. After driving through Gerlach, drive around/up the playa to the 12-Mile Entrance to the playa. Drive roughly half-way across the playa and we’ll be around there.

VOUCHING FOR A NEWBIE (by Lootenant Dan)

Hey there Spankerinos!

Things are moving along quite nicely as we march ever forward to the Dirt Circus. We have a pretty large percentage of Newbies this year and I just wanted to touch base quickly about VOUCHING FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

When folks send in their applications to join “The Crown Jewel of Burning Man Bars”, and mention that they know a veteran Spanker, a member of the SEX Board (Spanky’s EXecutive) should give you a call or email to be sure that the newbie is perverted enough (but not too much) to be a member of the camp and contribute to its success.

So, If YOU have vouched for a newbie, we also expect you to help them acculturate to the Burning Man/Spanky’s vibe. For example, you can help your newbie avoid moopy costumes like feather boas. You can teach your newbie the Spanky’s secret handshake. You can inform them how to avoid horrible food poisoning by washing hands, and other body parts, before eating. Hook them up with the ice purchasing sign-ups. Convey to them the joy of a Flaming Enema. You can see where I’m going with this right?

So, in conclusion, we are counting on all of us to be participants in the success of Spanky’s Wine Bar. Help the newbies, be kind to the newbies, and don’t forget that we were ALL newbies at one point in our lives. And most importantly, teach your newbie about consent and proper behavior!!!

Now, go forth spankily into the new day!

Lootenant Dan

COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE PADDLER

SWB Placement (our playa address)
WAP Allocations
WUSSI (workshifts sign-ups)
SWB Schwag
Village Map
LNT part 3
Events Listing

May

“Build a man a fire, he’ll be warm for a night… set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life”

In this issue… Which should be read while watching/listening to: Tom Waits – “Old Shoes and Picture Postcards”

Camp Dues… are due!

Burning Man Tickets

Burning Man Tickets Part 2 (STEP to it!)

RV Services

Work/Party Weekends

WAPs (early build passes)

SWB needs somebody to tow a big-ass generator

Leave No Trace (part 1)

Anyone have a vehicle Disabled Placard?

What video was supposed to be in the newbie vetting email?

Coming in the next issue of The Paddler

CAMP DUES… are due! (by Amethyst – SWB Treasurer)

Most of you have paid your camp dues, or at least your down-payment. Thank you. But the deadline is rapidly approaching for those who haven’t paid in full. And that deadline is May 30th!

Please pay asap. Don’t make us hunt you down! If you don’t pay your camp dues, you will not be on our radar for finding you a Bman ticket to purchase.

More info on camp dues and payments: Pay Dues – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

BURNING MAN TICKETS (by Red Queen – SWB Ticket Maven)

Hiya Spankers…yes, it’s me…your friendly Ticket Maven…Again!

We’ve now made it through three ticket sales (FOMO, STS & Main). And we have finalized our ticket pairings for the available tickets from STS & Main Sale. By now you should have received an email from me (redqueen@spankys.org) or Lieutenant Dan (dano@spankys.org) confirming that you have a ticket available for purchase. If you did not get that email, it means we still need to help you get a Bman ticket (and vehicle pass, if applicable). If that’s the case for you… read on dear Spanker.

Okay… so you still need a ticket… do not fret, keep planning and do these steps below and we will make sure you get a ticket! Everyone that has SIGNED UP to be a part of Spanky’s and PAID DUES by May 31st, will eventually get a ticket!

Step 1 – (Step 1 is STEP… hehe)

IMMEDIATELY go to your Burning Man profile and sign-up for S(ecure)T(icket)E(xchange)P(rogram)…. 2023 Secure Ticket Exchange Program (STEP) | Burning Man Tickets

The Bman STEP program is the easiest way for people that have tickets to safely resell them and for you to buy them. It opened on the 26th of April, so you need to sign-up NOW!

Step 2

Email me at RedQueen@spankys.org and let me know if you are still in need of a ticket, so I can get an accurate list.

Step 3

Get ready/prepped for the 2 remaining sales of the year.

Step 4

Make sure to send an email to our SWB Recruiter and Ticket Procurer (Bacon Daddy). Bacon Daddy (Jonathan) is a highly connected Burner. He’s been doing Bman for a long time and knows lots of key people. And he’s on every chat-group and FB page, constantly scouring the ether for aftermarket Bman tix for sale. He’s going to do his best to get everyone in SWB a ticket. But you’ve got to get on his radar… bacon@spankys.org

July 26-28th – OMG Sale Registration and August 2nd OMG Sale – 3000 tickets will go on-sale for the final official sale through the BMorg.

Just a reminder to not lose hope if you don’t have a ticket yet, we will get you taken care of and set with a ticket to buy. BUT you have to be signed-up and PAID to be a part of Spanky’s by May 31st!

**Side Note – If you got tickets from FOMO or Main sale (or some other avenue) and haven’t let us know, please email me and let me know if you’re set.

Love you!

Red Queen (Amanda) redqueen@spankys.org

BURNING MAN TICKETS – PART 2

RV SERVICES (by Amethyst – RV Services Manager)

POTABLE WATER REFILLS – GREY/BLACK WATER PUMPOUTS – RV ELECTRICAL POWER

These services are not part of your camp dues and must be paid for in advance.

Amethyst & Solar – AKA…Rod & Karla, are in charge of coordinating these services with the vendors, and collecting the fees.

Send your order information to amethyst@spankys.org and he will send you an invoice and payment information.

NOTE: Payments can only be received via Zelle, check, money order or wire transfer.

CUT-OFF DATE FOR ORDERS IS MAY 31

CUT-OFF DATE FOR PAYMENT IS JUNE 17

The following services are available for purchase for RVs at Spanky’s:

Water fills and pump-outs are available only on the following dates, typically happen before noon and you will not need to be present. You will need to ensure that access is available to your pump-out connection and water fill inlet.
- When ordering, please specify date(s) for water fill(s) and pump-out(s).
  - · Monday, August 28
  - · Wednesday, August 30
  - · Friday, September 1
  - · Sunday, September 3
GREY/BLACK WATER PUMP-OUTS – $110 each
- NOTE: If you want to manage your own pump-outs, the vendor will have “flag down trucks” available on Playa, usually available after 2:00 pm and only take cash. This will be up to you to handle!… and it’s not a dependable way to go…and this is only for “pump-outs” of grey/black water (NOT POTABLE WATER REFILS).
POTABLE RV WATER FILLS – $150 each (flat rate up to 75 gallons)
- NOTE: The vendor will not have flag down trucks available on Playa for water fills
- Water will be added to RV fresh water tank until full or 75 gallons have been added (whichever comes first). If your tank takes all 75 gallons, that’s $2.00 per gallon (same price per gallon charged in 2022)
- If your tank only takes 50 gallons until full, that amounts to $3.00 per gallon (which is what the vendor will charge per gallon on Playa)
- You cannot specify how many gallons you want, it’s a flat rate
- You cannot have surplus fill water added to extra tanks/containers (if your tank only took 40 gallons to fill, that’s it)
DEDICATED POWER; 20, 30 or 50 AMP (limited subscriptions available)
- 50 amp (limited availability) – $1100 (common for RVs with 2 air conditioners)
- 30 amp (28 available) – $550 (common for most RVs with one air conditioner)
- 20 amp dedicated power (12 available) – $350 (common for yurts to run a small air conditioner)

NOTES – Do not try to air-condition your tent… it doesn’t work. Also, don’t attempt to use the Spanky’s “free” power for an air conditioner (either in a yurt or RV). You will trip the breaker and be disconnected. And don’t expect to buy power on-playa when you trip breakers… it’s too late then… none will be available.

Amethyst & Solar – RV Services Managers (their job literally SUCKS!)

WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS (by Ish-a-licious – Quartermaster & Work Party Manager)

Wow!! We rocked it last weekend in Reno. Major-league thanks to all the Spankers who showed up to our first work/party weekend. I’m happy to report that we accomplished all the goals! And now we are much more prepared to head into SWB2023 with a full head of steam. We now have a spreadsheet-inventory of nearly all Spanky’s equipment, supplies, etc. This is something we’ve wanted to do for years. And the storage area has been upgraded, organized, and cleaned up! Well done crew!

UPCOMING WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

July 7-9th (fri-sun) – repairs, painting, construction, cleaning, etc
August 18-22 (fri-tue) – paperwork, welcome packs, construction, painting, loading, loading, loading
Post Bman – September 5-7 (tue-thu) – unloading, unloading, unloading, cleaning swb stuff, cleaning generator, cleaning trucks/trailers

More info about all work/party weekends: Skunkworks – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

Ish-a-licious – ish@spankys.org

WAPs (by Lieutenant Dan – CLIT Camp Leader In Training)

WAPs are “Work Access Passes”. They are for Burners/Spankers who want to come to the playa before Bman opens, to help build the camp. If you’re interested in helping with “Early Build”, you HAVE TO have one of these WAPs. Bman officially opens on Sunday, August 27th at 12:01am (think; late Saturday night). WAPs for Spankers are available for arrival on-playa starting on Tuesday, August 22nd.

WAPs don’t cost anything… but they are ONLY intended for those who are dedicated to WORKING during early-build. Bman is rather generous with the number of WAPs they allocate to SWB, but they are still limited. We won’t know exactly how many we’re getting until early July. If there aren’t enough to go around, priority goes to those who can come the earliest. You don’t need to be a muscle-bound builder to help… there are jobs for everyone during early build.

IN PARTICULAR… we are looking for a couple experienced Spankers/Burners to help Ish with doing the camp layout (which is the VERY FIRST THING done on the playa for SWB). You would need to arrive on Monday (nearly a week early) for this job. You guys will be using the meticulously created camp map in conjunction with using tools, ropes, spikes, etc. to turn the blank-playa into a delineated physical representation of the boundaries of the camp, the camp roads, locations of key items/structures, etc.

But you can let me know now if you want to get a WAP. Send an email to: dano@spankys.org In the email, be sure to tell me your real name, and the day/date you plan to arrive. You may even want to come to our last pre-burn work party in Reno also (Aug 19-21)… if so, let me know that too.

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 1

(an ongoing series by For Now & For Later – SWB LNT Managers)

Hi Spankers! This is “For Later” (aka Tanya). My husband (“For Now” – aka Bob) and I are the “Leave No Trace” Managers for Spanky’s. This is the first in a series of informative articles that will be in upcoming issues of The Paddler.

Shall we start at the beginning? Leaving No Trace (LNT) has been part of our burner-ethos since the dawn of Burning Man in 1986, on Baker Beach, in San Francisco. After moving the event to the Black Rock Desert in 1991 (and now being under the scrutiny of the Bureau of Land Management, aka BLM) our efforts were re-intensified regarding LNT. And in 2004, Bman founder, Larry Harvey, created the “10 Principles of Bman”, of which LNT is one…and happens to be my favorite, but I’m biased 😉

In fact… to get the annual permit to have the event on BLM land, Bman must pass a very strict inspection by the BLM. Thus, a new group was created within the Bman DPW, called “The Playa Restoration Team” (aka Playa Resto), lead by a fine Burner named “DA”. After we all do our best to remove all the MOOP (Matter Out Of Place) from our camps, Playa Resto kicks into gear and performs weeks of intensely detailed, GPS gridded, accurately recorded “line sweeps” to get any and all things that were missed. And a couple months after the event (after the BLM inspection) Playa Resto releases the official “Bman MOOP Map”, which shows the exact locations of any MOOP they found during their heroic post-playa clean-up.

In the early 2000s, a BLM inspector was quoted as saying, “The tens-of-thousands of Burning Man campers left less trash on the playa than a typical family of four”. So, while outdoor enthusiasts and groups have (for many years before Bman existed) preached LNT and leaving places better than you found it, Burners have taken it to a new level. And we should be proud of our LNT efforts, not only at the Burn, but in our day-to-day lives… camping, hiking, in your car, in your home, etc. LNT shows respect for our fellow humans and the playa/planet’s ecosystems. Since becoming a Burner, all 10 Principles have spilled over into my “default world”, but most of all… LNT! Until next month…

Much Love,

For Later

NEXT MONTH… PART 2 “Why LNT is soooo important

ANYONE HAVE A VEHICLE “DISABLED PLACARD”? (by APJ)

Contact APJ at: admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

???WHAT VIDEO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE NEWBIE VETTING LETTER??? (by Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC Head Mutha Fukka In Charge)

So… many Spankers this year are newbies (if not to Bman, then to Spanky’s). And the newbies filled out a questionnaire, which included question 20, “What are your thoughts on this video”, and a link.

The link led to a video which YouTube had banned for adult content and nudity. So I searched it again and found another link to that video which was good. But the new link also got flagged/banned a few days later, again for nudity and adult content.

So you’re probably wondering what kind of horrific, BDSM filled, perverted, sick video I was trying to get all of you to watch (my lord, what kind of man is the Admiral Painjoy anyway?)
Well, I found the video again on YouTube. New link. Not banned, yet. So hang on to your hats Spankers. Here’s the vile, disgusting, nightmare of sexual, graphic, nude, terror… (enjoy – if it’s not re-banned a third time) “A SONG ABOUT BIRDS” – YouTube
I kid you not… that is the video that’s been banned twice… bwahahaha

COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE PADDLER

2nd Work/Party Weekend
SWB Schwag! (T-shirts, Patches, Medallions, etc.)
SWB Security
What it means to be “vouching” for a newbie Spanker
4th of Juplaya
LNT part 2
SWB Events

February

February 2023

“We tried so hard to be adults, but just look at us… fucking look!”

In this issue…Which, in honor of Valentine’s Day, should be read while watching/listening to: Pat Metheny covering a beautiful Beatles song

A Message from your Admiral

Steward Ticket Sale (from Red Queen)

Camp Dues & Spanky’s Budget for 2023 (from Amethyst)

Work Access Passes (Early Build)

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

BMAN 2022 was challenging … to say the least! And SWB came a hare’s-breath away from taking a one-year hiatus from Bman in 2023. But our Herculean Management Team has stepped up, risen to the challenge, and talked me out of the “one year break.”

Back story — Among last year’s challenges were:

The hottest and dustiest Bman ever
The ticket problem (SWB didn’t get its allocation of Steward Tickets until August)
Bman repeatedly failing to make Fuel Deliveries to our camp, for our generators (we got just 4 of 11 scheduled deliveries)
Bman running out of ice repeatedly
Bman Departments having computer and labor force issues – they lost a lot of experienced people and tribal knowledge during their 2-year break
Problems with SWB generator procurement
Trucking/towing issues
SWB needing to relocate from California to Nevada a couple of months before planned
Loss/failure of APJ’s computer and music library, his iPhone, and 3 truck breakdowns
Equipment disorganization (due to unscheduled move)
Budget shortfall
Serious in-camp (and pre-burn) drama
Multiple issues with Bman DMV
Weak turn-out for work party weekends
Widespread COVID-19 issues
APJ dealing with physical and mental health issues.
Injuries on-playa
APJ, Red Queen and Major-D experiencing the most time-consuming summer ever for ticketing issues

Quite the list, huh? But, here’s the amazing part … Despite it being the most problem-riddled year, we miraculously still made SWB happen! Spectacularly! And those who busted their asses in 2022 deserve to be knighted!

But it came at a big cost. The events of 2022 resulted in your Admiral experiencing mental health issues, including massive Clinical Panic Attacks … Ugh! Not fun. In short … SWB has become more time-consuming and difficult than your Admiral can handle any more, so some changes are happening this year. Hopefully these changes will make it so Spanky’s can go on for years and years … sustainably!

The Front Story:

In an effort to keep your Admiral from committing Hari-Kari, we are:

Restructuring SWB Management
Doing a smaller, simpler camp this year
APJ is NOT going to find a ticket for everyone who wants one this year
Spanky’s received 86 Stewards Sale Tickets today. At the moment, that’s how many Spankers we’re planning to have
If Spankers (or potential Spankers) get tickets in the Main Sale, then our numbers will increase accordingly
Our budget was based a total of 100 Spankers, which was our STS allocation last year, but we will be adjusting it in the coming days for the new reality of 86 Spankers. This is a 14% reduction from our 2022 Allocation. Reason? Who the fuck knows?
Camp Dues need to increase (see below)
Workshift hours will increase
Spanky’s will essentially be closed on Tuesday and Thursday night to ensure everyone gets free time explore Burning Man and reduce our labor burden for the week
APJ and Major-D will be teaching most of what they do to other SWB managers
No “Sparkle Ponies” this year!
APJ, Lt. Dan & Major-D will be carefully selecting the 86 Spankers
Pre-playa training for all workshifts
STRICT cut-off dates for sign-ups, dues, etc
This website is currently open for sign-ups

Read on for more details.

HugKissSpank,

Admiral Painjoy

STEWARD TICKET SALE (from Red Queen)

Red Queen here…your friendly Ticket Maven! The Burning Man Stewards Ticket Sale (formerly known as DGS/Directed Group Sale) is fast approaching and there are some new policies and procedures in place that you need to be aware of prior to the sale.

READ ALL THE INFO!

Inevitably someone messes this up and we lose precious tickets in the process. In 2023, APJ and I will not be killing ourselves helping people find tickets, so now is the time to pay attention!

The Stewards Sale is reserved for those who work hard to make Spanky’s happen and are important to the creation of Spanky’s, running Spanky’s during Bman, breaking-down and MOOPing the village at the end, attending work/party weekends, etc. We should know just how many tickets we have been allocated by the BMorg next week.
To be eligible to be a part of Spanky’s Steward Ticket Sale (STS) you must do the following:
- You must go to the Spanky’s website and complete your sign-up immediately using the sign-up page. (This is how we know you need STS tickets.)
- You must have paid your Camp Dues ($475.00) (or at least have paid the minimum deposit of $250.00) by end of the day on March 1st. Info for paying dues visit the dues page
In the Stewards Sale, you will be paired up with another Spanker to buy two tickets and one car pass. We will be pairing you up as usual to make sure we don’t miss out on any of the tickets
Tickets in the Stewards Sale (and Main Sale) cost $575.00. Vehicle passes cost $150.00. (Plus taxes and fees for each)
If you are able to buy both tickets and car pass for yourself and hold onto one of those tickets to be bought from you at a later date by another Spanker, please let APJ know
As always, make sure your Burner Profile (on the Bman website) is updated in order to buy tix in ANY sale. Do it now, so you don’t forget. https://profiles.burningman.org/

If you are selected to purchase tix in the Steward Ticket Sale, you’ll get an email with instructions from BMan Ticketing, then…

March 8th-March 10th (by NOON PST) – Steward Sale tickets must be purchased or they will be lost FOREVER!

Other important ticketing information to be aware of:

The Main Sale (Registration is April 5-7 – The Sale Date is April 12th)
The Ticket Aid Program (Registration is March 1th – May 24th)

PLEASE READ all the info about Bman ticket sales here: https://tickets.burningman.org/

CAMP DUES & SPANKY’S BUDGET FOR 2023 (from Amethyst)

What follows was written when we were still assuming we would be getting 100 tickets in the Stewards Sale. It will be adjusted based on getting 86 tix. Note, we’re going to reduce the budget as needed, NOT increase dues.

Hi Spankers. Amethyst here…

The SWB BABE (Budget Advisory Board Ensemble) has been busy getting organized and doing a bunch of budget & dues related stuff.

After much review and trimming, BABE approved the SWB 2023 budget. This was needed to set the camp dues and allow each department lead to start planning their department’s activities. The BABE chair / Treasurer Amethyst (Spank Banker), manages the Spank Bank account and will work closely with Department leads on funding and accounting procedures.

SWB 2023 BUDGET – Total $47,500

DEPARTMENTS

Administration $5610
Attractions $2330
Bar $7826
Camp Bitch $250
DJ $1600
IT $756
Infrastructure/Work Parties $8300
Kitchen $2575
LNT $249
Lighting/Signage $800
MOD $720
Power Grid $8750
Sanctuary $780
Security $200
SWAG/Name Badges $300
Transportation $2500
Reserves $2954
Hardship Fund $1000

Do’s, Dews, and DUES!

With an approved 2023 budget by our BABE, budgeted for 100 Spankers, SWB 2023 BM camp dues will be a flat rate $475. (Flat rate this year… doesn’t increase from month to month)

Pay your camp dues in full if you can. Without paid dues, the budget is just numbers without action.

However, a dues deposit of $250, due by March 1st, is required to secure your name on the Steward Ticket list. Final dues payment must be paid by May 31st.

Want to reduce your dues amount? Very consensual, Yes!

New this year, the SWB MasteRebation program. You will not be able to do this one alone. For each new Spanker (who ALREADY has their own BMan ticket) you recruit, you could get a $100 dues rebate or discount. NOTE: your potential new Spanker must pass vetting and pay their dues in full… then you get your rebate. Also, if you or a friend/family member/coworker/etc are able to purchase a ticket in The Main Sale for SWB, you’ll get a $100 rebate per ticket. NOTE: maximum aggregate rebate is $400.

Another option is to apply for a Hardship discount. Contact Admiral Painjoy for more info.

The method to pay dues this year is changing to meet the needs of budget management, risks and future government bureaucracy.

Therefore, the only ways to pay camp dues are with cash, check, money order or through Zelle (direct from your bank to the Spank Bank).

Work Access Passes (formerly Early Build)

Early Build is when we build Spanky’s on the playa. It happens during the week leading up to Bman. Everyone who helps with Early Build must have an official Work Access Pass (WAP) from Bman. We won’t know how many WAPs we are getting until the summer, so we’re not accepting applications for WAPs until then.

One exception is… if you need to buy plane tickets soon, to come to the August work/party weekend AND to do Early Build, let me know now. If you qualify, I’ll put you on the list now.

January

Hello Spankers !

You’ve all been patiently awaiting the announcement … and hopefully that will be coming soon.

In the meantime, I can tell you this …

Spanky’s Management has been hard at work, and there are big changes underway. Spanky’s is reorganizing management with a goal of long-term SWB sustainability. Spanky’s still has its management team, but we’ve also added 2 boards … in the spirit of bureaucracy. 😉

The first is the Spanky’s EXecutive board (the SEX board), which consists of Admiral Painjoy (HMFIC), Rear Admiral Major-D, and Rear Admiral Dano (Lt. Dan). The three of us will be overseeing all operations of Spanky’s this year. Please be nice to my Rear Admirals, and if you can’t be nice, at least speak slowly to them. (As you can see, we have no idea how military ranks work, but you’ve got to admit they are great sounding titles.)

Next is the BABE (Budgetary Advisory Board Ensemble). This board’s function is to deal with all of Spanky’s finances, and it will be chaired by Treasurer/Comptroller Amethyst. Other BABE members are Red Queen, SpankIT, ForNow, and Niloc. They’ll be analyzing departmental budgets and eventually ratifying a full-camp budget. This process is happening at this very moment.

Spanky’s will still have its regular departmental management teams, and I’m happy to announce some additions/changes to management …

LizBeth (DiscoTits) will be stepping up into Tripp’s position as Bar Manager.

I’m sorry to announce that after many years of faithful service, Tripp is retiring from Burning Man … Thank you for everything you’ve done for us. You raised the bar on our bar to incredibly high levels.

We also want to welcome Wallis (Grommet) as our new Assistant Bar Manager. (He has an extensive background in drinking, and we have high hopes.)

We would also like to welcome Will (Thumper, and world-famous Pervert Extraordinaire) to the Spanky’s Kink Management team. He’ll be in charge of our front-yard kink structures and toys. Olivia (Lazy Bar Slut) will be in charge of our MOD Squad (kink personnel), and Danielle (Snow Patrol) will still be in charge of our daily classes — SpankU!

Ish Rivera is Spanky’s new Quartermaster and Work Party Manager. (Between Ish and LizBeth, Spanky’s is being overrun by Marines … hoo-rah.)

We also want to welcome Kevin D (somebody, please give this guy a playa name), our generous new benefactor, and we want to thank him providing us a new home for all of our stuff in Reno (among his many contributions). His SWB rank is Master Petting Officer.

Jeff & Mary H. are also joining the team as Managers of Lighting and Signage. They provided the “brilliant” searchlights last summer, and they are the proud owners of Trigger, the orgasmic saddle.

Karla (Solar) is now manager of Spanky’s Sanctuary. She and her lieutenants will be caring for our over-indulging customers (and camp mates?) … and minor first-aid incidents …Ta da, Spanky’s very own Clara Barton.

He’s the schedule for the next few weeks:

BABE will finalize the budget and dues this week.
Early-FEB, website to be updated to accept 2023 signups and allow for payment of dues.
End-Feb, Stewards Tickets (aka DGS) process to begin.

Much, much, much more to follow in next few weeks, but for now let me say I’m thrilled by the direction things are going.

HugKissSpank, APJ

July (Part 2) 2023

“The first step to recovery… is acquiring a problem.”

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to this hilarious spoken-word piece by Simon Rich called “I Love Girl”

2022

August - Part 4

“We tried so hard to be adults, but just look at us… fucking look!”

August 2022 – part 4

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Birth of a Universe by Ray (while imagining a ride on an art car under a star filled playa sky): Birth of a Universe – YouTube

A Message from your Admiral
What To Do Upon Arriving at Spanky’s
Work/Party Weekend coming up!
Work/Party After Bman
Wifi at Spanky’s
KinkyFetishFun Stuff at SWB
Camp Events Schedule
Camp Map
Bman Tickets Available
REDUX: The Ultimate Packing List (yes, it’s that important)
SWB Staph

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

It’s time! It’s upon us! You are all probably neck-deep in your planning and packing. I am going insane, btw. So busy. So stressed. So excited!

Messages are coming in at a frenetic pace now. Please don’t be offended by my kurt responses. If you can, answer your own questions by referring to the website and newsletters… or contact the appropriate member of the SWB management team.

I will probably be doing one final Paddler before the event starts. Until then, I’ll say this… I can’t wait to see your smiling, dust faces in a few days! Wahoo!!!!!

WHAT TO DO UPON ARRIVAL AT SPANKY’S

When you get into Black Rock City (Bman proper), past the Gate and past the Greeters, you will begin your drive to Spanky’s. Veer left at the fork to head toward the 7:30 radial street (you will receive a city map from the Greeters)

Drive down 7:30, towards The Man. When you reach Fugue St., turn right. A couple hundred feet down Fugue, you’ll find Spanky’s HQ and check-in area. At night, look for the flashing orange thingys on the ground. (There is a SWB village map on the website… look for the download link at the bottom…print it and bring it with you.)

You must check-in before going to your campsite!

Try to arrive between 9am and 2am. If nobody is awake when you arrive, temporarily park in the check-in spot (if available) and catch some shuteye for a bit. Do not try to self-place!

When you arrive at SWB check-in (aka SWB HQ… aka Admiral Painjoy’s campsite… that’s me… hi!) He will begin your check-in process. If APJ isn’t around, the following people can also do the check-in and placement for you; Amethyst, Sky, Blackbird, or Major-D

WORK/PARTY WEEKEND THIS WEEKEND

I’m on my way to the work party now… and I sure could use your help! Lots to do. Not enough bodies. Please come to our new SWB location at Safari Stores RV (2802 Kietzke Lane in Reno, NV). There’s all kinds of work to do! If you haven’t already… email to let me know you’re coming. There’s spots for tents, RVs, and many hotels nearby.

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

WORK/PARTY AFTER BMAN

After Bman is done… on Mon/Tues/Wed August 5/6/7, we will be unloading the trucks at Safari. We will clean and organize our stuff. Then pack it back into the storage area, so it all can get a few months of undisturbed sleep until we need it again next year.

Many (if not most) of you will be in Reno at that time. You are obligated to help. Safari RV is only a 5 minute drive from the GSR and other hotels… no excuses dammit! Many hands make light work 😊

WIFI AT SPANKY’S

From our IT Specialist (Deryck… aka SpankIT)

Camp WiFi

We’re trying out Starlink for the first time and will attempt to offer Wifi to our members and guests. If it works, we will have limited bandwidth, so please be considerate. We will try our best to get good coverage for the entire camp, but your best bet for connectivity will be at the BASS.

The Wifi name for Spanky’s members is “Spank Master 9000” and the password is “SpanksAlot2022” Please do not share this info with guests.

Guest wifi is called “Spanky’s Wine Bar at 7:30 & F” and does not require a password to join. Guests will need to accept a terms of service before they can get online.

KINKY.FETISH.FUN STUFF AT SWB

One of the aspects of SWB is kink and fetish play… but in a light-hearted and fun way. A great camp for those who want to learn and experiment. And nobody is required to participate in this aspect of our infamous camp (encouraged maybe… but not required 😊)

Here’s a message from Lazy Bar Slut…

Hello Spankers! ’Tis I, Goddess Olivia Rose (aka Lazy Bar Slut) here to facilitate the best kinky burn along with my copartner Headmaster Snow Patrol! SP and I are the heads of the dungeon and play space, promoting safe, sane, and consensual kinky fun for all of Black Rock City. We have been busy working on a schedule for “Spank U!”(Spanky’s University) BDSM education classes and filling workshifts (MOD Mistress/Master On Duty… BOD bottom on duty)

Between Headmaster and Myself, we have a combined 36 years of knowledge in BDSM, and we wish to share that with you. Monday through Friday Headmaster will be conducting BDSM 101 classes that will discuss the basics of play and how to do it safely. They will go over spanking, flogging, how to run a scene, and some light rope bondage. Our Booty Guard lead (PKtheFluffer) will review consent before each class to facilitate the best time for all.

We also have a few other classes after BDSM 101, such as “Femdom 101 and Safety” on Tuesday with Head Officer PKtheFluffer and myself, where we discuss finding your inner Femdom Goddess and finding play partners online safely. We will have special guests, Pro Miss Melody and her submissive el Cabello teaching intermediate/advanced impact play in “Impact Play 201: Giving The Sting And Thud Safely” with an encore of “Not Your Therapist’s CBT” on Wednesday. Thursday, I will be doing a class on basic fetishes you might see in the scene and educating people on fetishism and fetishes with “Putting the Fun in Fetish 101.” Friday, I will also be doing a class called “Basic Bondage for Non-basic Bitches.” This will go more in-depth on rope play and safety, as well as hitches, knots, and learning how to do a bondage body harness! On Saturday, we will have an exceptional class for all the lovely people with a pussy and their partners! This will be a class for put on by the lovely hosts of “Clit Talk,” a podcast produced and hosted by Playa Godmother and her partner Sugar. They will teach a workshop called “Clit Mastery: The five types and what the clit to do!” They will teach us about the five types of clits, and how to stimulate them in a safe consent-based space to empower body-positive liberation, consent, and pleasure.

While we have a variety of classes here at Spank U!, we do have an opening on Monday for another class, demo, or workshop! There is still a tiny bit of time to get your event featured! All you have to do is email Me at LazyBarSlut@spankys.org or Headmaster SP at danielle@spankys.org with your ideas.

We are also short on MODS this year for the late night shifts and throughout the week. Because of this, I decided to open up a new position called “BODs,” bottoms on demand, for those spicy Spanker subs in our camp. I will train everyone on how to bottom for those who would like to learn safely. One MOD will head BODs within the playspace. If interested, please email me at the above address, and let’s get to spanking!

I can’t wait to see you in the desert! XOXO

CAMP EVENTS SCHEDULE

At long last… SWB Events, parties, and DJs are listed.

Huge thanks to DJ Dirty Dan, Olivia, and Danielle!

Camp Events – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

CAMP MAP

And so is the map for the Spanky’s Village

Huge thanks to Major-D for the MASSIVE amount of hours he dedicated to the creation of this map. This task is FAR more difficult that any of you can possibly imagine

Village Map – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

Look for the download link at the bottom of the page… print it!

BMAN TIX AVAILABLE

Y’all shoulda trusted your Admiral. (Painjoy is good…Painjoy is wise)

For that past 6 months I have said (ad nauseum) that everyone that wants a ticket will get one. But did you listen? <insert whiny voice>… Nooooooo. Y’all bailed on Bman or scampered off to other camps. Well fine. I hope your happy now… in your playa-dust-free home… or at your hippydippy other camp that’s nowhere near as fun as SWB.

And because so many of you faithless, weak hearted, liver lilied, simps didn’t stick it out…

Spanky’s has spare tickets now. Not only did I find over 30 tix for those in need… I could have covered the whole lot of ya… with two weeks to spare. <sticks out tongue>

Contact me if you need a ticket or VP. We have a few available to anyone who wants to camp at SWB. (If we have tix left on Sunday, I’ll open up the offer to the Burner community at large)

THE ULTIMATE PACKING LIST (Redux… because it’s that important)

Years of experience and research went into this packing list. It contains extremely valuable information!!!

I wrote it (with Eve)… and I use it every year. You need to use it too!

Packing List – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

SWB STAPH

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryck) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer (and gold digger)

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team (and fishnet fan)

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators (

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus and Camp Bitch coordinator (but did you DIE?!!!)

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers – Coach of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Arrow – Head Cheerleader of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad (easily distracted by bumble bees and such)

arrow@spankys.org

PK the Fluffer (Carissa) – Consent Manager (she’ll say yes for $49.95)

pkthefluffer@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Doug L (Major-D)

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

August - Part 3

“This will all end in tears”

~Marvin the Paranoid Android~

August 2022 – part 3

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: DJ Cumberbund’s remix of Ozzy Osborn’s Crazy Train (mashed up with Earth, Wind and Fire): DJ Cummerbund – Earth, Wind & Ozzys – YouTube

A Message from your Admiral
Need Somebody to Tow a Generator this week!
Work/Party Weekend coming up!
WAPs (early build passes)
Bman Tickets – who’s got em…who needs em
One FOMO Bman Ticket, Still Available for Purchase
Beer/Wine Pick ups
The Ultimate Packing List
Be Prepared…Entry/Exodus Lines
Eve’s Kitchen
SWB Staph

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

If you don’t read these newsletters and the information on the SWB website… you’ll probably die. (that is all)

WE STILL NEED SOMEBODY TO TOW A GENERATOR THIS WEEK!

Put simply… we need somebody to tow a big generator from the Placerville, CA area to Reno. It needs to happen this coming week… Thurs or Fri. You would need to get the gennie to Reno before 4pm. You need a sizeable, beefy pick-up truck or motor home to do it.

If you can help us, email me at admiralpainjoy@spankys.org This is getting critical.

WORK PARTY WEEKEND COMING UP

I NEED A HEADCOUNT OF WHO’S COMING THIS WEEKEND PLEASE.

Our last pre-burn work/party weekend is Aug 19-21 (Fri-Sun). There’s a lot to be done. And it’s not all construction. There’s something for everyone. And this will be our first work/party weekend at Kevin’s place in Reno (once again… huge thanks Kevin!). There is space for tent and RV camping at his property. The address is 2802 Kietzke Lane Reno, NV 89502.

Kevin also asked if I could promo an event that’s happening that weekend too. Looks like it might be a fun thing for us to do on Saturday, after the work day is done.

It’s called Rock Against Racism. Here’s the deets: Rock Against Racism : A Mutual Aid Benefit Show Tickets, Sat, Aug 20, 2022 at 6:00 PM | Eventbrite

WAPs (WORK ACCESS PASSES)

By now, everyone who requested a WAP should have gotten one. Check your emails. Print your WAPs. Make sure have them in your vehicle! Confirm that you got it and printed it by emailing me… if you haven’t already.

If you somehow got overlooked, and you need a WAP… email me. I have a few left over. admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

BMAN TICKETS… WHO’S GOT EM… WHO STILL NEEDS EM

Bman tix are shaking loose right now… as I said they would. Time for an audit/headcount. Who’s got tix for sale… who needs them… vehicle passes too.

Things are a bit frantic in the days approaching Bman… especially for me and the SWB Staph. I apologize for any confusion or lack of response. Please pop me an email right now to let me know if you still need a ticket (and/or vehicle pass). admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Also, let me know if you have decided to NOT go to Bman (or if you’re camping elsewhere), so I can take you off the list of Spankers-in-need.

ONE FOMO BMAN TICKET, STILL AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE

Our new bestest Spanker, Kevin, purchased a couple of FOMO tickets in the STEP/Lyte program. They are the FOMO tix that went on sale early this year. FOMO tickets are sold by Bman to people who want to make a contribution to the granted art on the playa…and also want to ensure that they get a Bman ticket. They are legit. But they are pricey. $2500.00 each. Kevin has one for sale. Please email me if you wish to purchase this ticket to ensure that YOU get to go to Bman and camp at SWB. Purchasing a FOMO ticket is a grand gesture toward the event!

BEER/WINE PICK-UPS

Spanky’s serves lots of beer and wine to the citizens of Bman… lots. Like nearly $10,000.00 worth! That’s hundreds of cases/boxes of these magical elixirs. And they are heavy and bulky… and we have limited space in the SWB truck.

As we have done in past years… we are looking for Spankers who can pick up cases of beer and wine on their way to Bman. Especially if you’re bringing an RV or other large vehicle that can accommodate 30-50 cases of beer… or 30-50 boxes of Franzia wine.

Please email me to let me know if you can help. I’ll give you more details when I hear from you. admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

THE ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Years of experience and research went into this packing list. It contains extremely valuable information!!!

I wrote it (with Eve)… and I use it every year. You need to use it too!

Packing List – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

BE PREPARED… ENTRY/EXODUS LINES

Every year the entry-line to get into Bman seems to get longer and more time consuming… even for Early Build. And with the Bman ticket voiding fiasco, this year could be the worst yet. (And exodus… don’t even get me started.) But we are Spankers… we are Burners… we are a fun-loving bunch… and creative. So here’s a few tips regarding waiting in line;

Make sure your vehicle is in good working order (read: air conditioning)
Make sure you have a full (or nearly full) gas tank when you hit the playa. Running out of gas in line is a bummer! Filling up at the gas stations in Wadsworth (off I-80) is sufficient. But there are small gas stations in Empire and Gerlach too. But they are usually crowded.
Make sure you have food/beverages readily available. Make sure you have ice in your coolers
Turn the line into a party. You have fellow burners sitting in vehicles all around you. Meet them. Have fun!
Bring playa-gifts to give out if you wanna!
Promote Spanky’s and our events!
Don’t get caught doing illegal things though. Cops do patrol the line.
And be sure all your paperwork is in order for the gate (Bman ticket, vehicle pass, WAP if applicable). If you are picking up your ticket on the playa…the will-call box office is just before the gate (obvious… you can’t miss it)

EVE’S KITCHEN

A message from Eve, our “Mistress of Morsels”…

All things kitchen

The kitchen (and Sanctuary) is located in the big beige circus-style tent in Spanky’s. The kitchen is available to all Spankers… but with certain limitations and rules.

During build week, we serve morning coffee, snacks, and dinner for those who come in early to help build the camp and we will also have coffee and some snacks in the morning. Once the burn starts on Sunday, the kitchen and kitchen equipment will be available to Spankers for preparation of their appetizer or when they need a little more space to put a meal together.

The only way this works is if everyone takes responsibility for cleaning up after themselves. We have sinks and limited running water you can use for cleanup but please conserve water. This gray water goes into a kiddie pool so please be careful to scrape plates and cookware before washing to minimize debris.

There will be a posted list of daily kitchen monitors. Find one of them if you have any questions or if you encounter any problems in the kitchen.

*** If you would be willing to be a kitchen monitor and satisfy some volunteer hours, we could use five or six more people. It’s an easy job on a day where you were planning on staying in camp for a few hours, and would simply mean that you would periodically swing through the kitchen to make sure things are in order. If you would like to volunteer, please reach out to Eve. We would get you on the schedule for part of a given day and, with enough people, we should be able to trade shifts as the need arises. eve@spankys.org

SWB STAPH

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryck) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer (and gold digger)

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team (and fishnet fan)

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators (

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus and Camp Bitch coordinator (but did you DIE?!!!)

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers – Coach of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Arrow – Head Cheerleader of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad (easily distracted by bumble bees and such)

arrow@spankys.org

PK the Fluffer (Carissa) – Consent Manager (she’ll say yes for $49.95)

pkthefluffer@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Doug L (Major-D)

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

August - Part 2

“Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a night… Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life”

August 2022 – part 2

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Monty Pythons “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”: Eric Idle – “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” – STEREO HQ – YouTube

A Message From Your Admiral
Pre-Burn Stress
Bman Tickets
One FOMO Bman Ticket, Still Available for Purchase
SWB Move to Reno Still Happening
Final Work Party and Post-Burn Work Party
Houston…We Have a Generator Problem
Cops at Bman and on the Road
Missing Minions
SWB Staph

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

These few weeks leading up to Bman are always stressful (and exciting!). This year seems more stressful than past burns though. I’m not exactly sure why. Maybe it’s because we’ve had a couple of years off… COVID… an increase in anxiety due to the zeitgeist of the nation/world right now… whatever.

Plus…Spanky’s has had a lot of curve balls this year. It’s been extremely challenging to overcome them. But the problems are being solved. And soon we’ll all be on the playa doing what we do best… spanking ass and slinging wine! I can’t wait to see all your dusty, smiling faces!!!

But please consider this…

If you’re having high levels of anxiety, panic attacks, your temper is flaring, feeling completely overwhelmed, or you can’t focus… take a break. You (specifically your mental health) are the most important thing!

And be considerate and kind to those around you. They are probably feeling the crunch too. Get sleep! Take a moment to smell the flowers. Think about your favorite things about Bman and Spanky’s. Remember why we all do this… because SWB and Bman are AMAZEBALLS! Focus on your fond playa-memories. Then get back to work when your mind is clear and your body is rejuvenated.

I am currently the king of panic attacks (legit and serious). I got my first good night of sleep last night in a couple of weeks. I feel sooooo much better and more productive.

Get sleep… zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Go easy on yourself.

Go easy on others… we’re all in the same boat.

Keep the alcohol/substances to a minimum.

Drink water.

Make checklists to maintain organization and free your mind.

Use the SWB packing list (on our website).

And know that you are loved.

That being said…. Let’s do this shit!

Fuck Your Burn!

(To the newbies… “Fuck Your Burn” is a positive, snarky saying… not an insult)

BMAN TICKETS

The OMG sale was disappointing. The STEP program is slow. But tickets for Spankers-in-need ARE COMIMG IN. Please have patience. Plan as if you already have tickets in hand.

Also, many Spankers are reporting that their LSD tix are arriving at their homes. Many are still waiting for delivery. It’s not time to panic. If you haven’t gotten your tickets by Wednesday… let Red Queen know. She’ll tell you how to proceed. redqueen@spankys.org

DO NOT purchase tickets from any place other than trusted Spankers/friends or the STEP (aka Lyte) program. It’s always a scam! If you need a ticket/VP still, you should have registered for STEP a while ago… but it’s not to late: 2022 Secure Ticket Exchange Program (STEP) | Burning Man Tickets

ONE FOMO BMAN TICKET, STILL AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE

SWB MOVE TO RENO STILL HAPPENING

We got the lion’s-share of the move done last Saturday and Wednesday (Big kudos to those who helped load and unload!!! Thank you!!!)

But… we need to do one more load-up and unload this weekend. The big truck wasn’t able to fit all of our stuff this past weekend. So we’re going back to get the rest of it. And again, we need bodies on both ends (at Kinky Mountain Farm in Garden Valley, CA at 9am Saturday) to do the load-up… and in Reno (Safari Store 2802 Keitzke Lane on Wednesday 9:30am) for the unload.

There’s less stuff, so this one should be a bit easier. Email Dano if you can help on either end – dano@spankys.org

FINAL PRE-BURN WORK PARTY AND THE POST-BURN WORK PARTY

Our last pre-burn work/party weekend is Aug 19-21 (Fri-Sun). There’s a lot to be done. And this will be our first work/party weekend at Kevin’s place in Reno (once again… huge thanks Kevin!). There is space for tent and RV camping at his property. The address is 2802 Kietzke Lane Reno, NV 89502.

Kevin also asked if I could promo an event that’s happening that weekend too. Looks like it might be a fun thing for us to do on Saturday, after the work day is done.

It’s called Rock Against Racism. Here’s the deets: Rock Against Racism : A Mutual Aid Benefit Show Tickets, Sat, Aug 20, 2022 at 6:00 PM | Eventbrite

Our post-burn work weekend is Tues-Wed after The Burn (in Reno). This is when we clean stuff, organize it, and store it for the off-season. Many hands make light work… so please plan on helping. If you can’t help at either work weekend, please consider a donation to SWB so the crew that DOES WORK THEIR ASSES OFF can get all the hookers and blow they need 😉

Scroll down to the “donate” button: Pay Dues – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

HOUSTON… WE HAVE A GENERATOR PROBLEM

Finding Spankers who can tow generators isn’t easy. And the Spankers who used to do it, sadly, aren’t coming this year.

We need to solve this problem. We have the gennies secured. They will be at Kinky Mountain Farm on Aug 16^th. We need to get them to the playa (or at least to Reno) between the 16^th and the 23^rd of Aug. (That means that it can be done prior to you going to Bman).

If you have towing capabilities and can help… call me or email me asap. admiralpainjoy@spankys.org 916.337.5353

COPS AT BMAN AND ON THE ROAD

Every year we include information about this in The Paddler. This year, I’m copying somebody else’s info, because they did a great job writing it. Here it is:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BurningMan/comments/w9rsrh/how_to_deal_with_cops_at_burning_man_2022_update/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

MISSING MINIONS

Spanky’s has a piece of light-art called the “Dancing Minions”. They are made of rope-light mounted on heavy duty wire mesh. They are in 3 pieces and are stored rolled up. They are around 8’ tall by 16’ wide when assembled on the playa. And we can’t find them, or remember who may have taken them home to work on them. We did have them on the playa last year for Rogue Burn. Please let me know if you have them!

SWB STAPH

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryck) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer (and gold digger)

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team (and fishnet fan)

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators (

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus and Camp Bitch coordinator (but did you DIE?!!!)

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers – Coach of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Arrow – Head Cheerleader of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad (easily distracted by bumble bees and such)

arrow@spankys.org

PK the Fluffer (Carissa) – Consent Manager (she’ll say yes for $49.95)

pkthefluffer@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Doug L (Major-D)

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

August - Part 1

“We won’t do anything to you today… that you won’t beg for again tomorrow”

August 2022 – part 1

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Glorious by MaMuse: Glorious – YouTube

The OMG Sale!
One FOMO Ticket Available for Purchase
SWB Unload on Wednesday in Reno
Another trip from The Kinky Mountain Farm to Reno
Who wants an RV-mate (possible free tix)?
Our Final Pre-Burn Work/Party Weekend (Aug 19-21)
SWB Schwag – T-shirt Deadline is Wednesday
SWB Staph

THE OMG SALE!

The OMG Sale is this Wednesday, August 3^rd (tomorrow!) at NOON SHARP (pacific time). It is utterly crucial that you be prepared for this sale if you (or friends/family) registered.

There is no window of days available for this sale… it’s like the Main Sale. It’s first come first served… and tix sell out in a couple of minutes. You must be logged on at exactly noon.

If you are lucky enough to get in the queue for tix… and lucky enough to be able to make the purchase… BUY THE MAXIMUM of two tix and one vehicle pass. There are many Spankers in need of tix that will pay you right away for any extra tix you get in this sale!

Fail to prepare… prepare to fail: www.tickets.burningman.com

ONE FOMO TICKET AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE (the expensive one)

SWB UNLOAD IN RENO WEDNESDAY

We DESPERATELY need some more bodies to help with the unload in Reno (at Kevin’s RV Store… our new home). We are starting the unload at 9am. Please, please, please tell me you can make it. Right now we only have 4 Spankers coming to do all that work. We need more! Email me right away if you can join us.

ANOTHER TRIP FROM THE KINKY MOUNTAIN FARM TO RENO

And… we need to do one more load-up and unload this weekend. The big truck wasn’t able to fit all of our stuff this past weekend. So we’re going back to get the rest of it. And again, we need bodies on both ends… at the Kinky Mountain Farm in Garden Valley, CA to do the load-up… and in Reno for the unload.

There’s less stuff, so this one should be a bit easier. Again, email me to let me know if you can help.

WHO WANTS AN RV-MATE (POSSIBLE FREE BMAN TICKETS)

I may have a line on something very cool. A friend of mine is offering two free Bman tix to a couple Spankers who will allow him to be their RV-mate. Email me if you’re interested. admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

OUR FINAL PRE-BURN WORK/PARTY WEEKEND

Kevin also asked if I could promo an event that’s happening that weekend too. Looks like it might be a fun thing for us to do on Saturday, after the work day is done.

It’s called Rock Against Racism. Here’s the deets: Rock Against Racism : A Mutual Aid Benefit Show Tickets, Sat, Aug 20, 2022 at 6:00 PM | Eventbrite

SWB SCHWAG – T-SHIRT DEADLINE IS WEDNESDAY

Spanky’s T-shirts, medallions, etc. are among the most coveted swag on the playa! If you don’t buy these now, you’ll wish you did.

Here’s the link to buy kewl SWB stuff: Schwag – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

This year, we have the following items for sale:

T-shirts and Tank Tops (in either pink or green) CUT-OFF DATE FOR ORDERING IS AUGUST 3^RD.
“SWB 15-year anniversary” medallions in solid brass
SWB embroidered patches (that can be sewn onto clothing/jackets/etc)
SWB kinky door hangers (packs of 10… excellent playa gifts!)

In past years, T-shirts were included with your camp dues, but without knowing how many of each size/style to order, a lot of Spankers were getting shirts they didn’t want or couldn’t wear. Better for us to just have you buy exactly what you want.

AGAIN:

The cut-off date for ordering T-shirts or Tank Tops is August 3^rd.
Supplies are limited on all other swag… so buy now before we sell out of them!

SWB STAPH

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryck) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer (and gold digger)

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team (and fishnet fan)

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators (

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus and Camp Bitch coordinator (but did you DIE?!!!)

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers – Coach of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Arrow – Head Cheerleader of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad (easily distracted by bumble bees and such)

arrow@spankys.org

PK the Fluffer (Carissa) – Consent Manager (she’ll say yes for $49.95)

pkthefluffer@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Doug L (Major-D)

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

July - Part 3

“We’d love to serve you… but we’re all tied up right now”

July 2022 – Part 3

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: God’s Away on Business by Tom Waits: Lyrics- Tom Waits- God’s Away on Business – YouTube

The Admiral’s Rant
Bman Tickets – OMG Sale TOMORROW (all hands on deck!)
SWB is Moving to Reno… this weekend!
WAPs (Work Access Passes – aka Early Build)
Who wants an RV-mate (possible free tix)
SWB Schwag – Deadlines Fast Approaching
SWB Staph

THE ADMIRAL’S RANT

Only 3 weeks until I depart for Bman. This has been, by far, the most challenging Bman/Spanky’s I’ve ever done. The amount of work I still need to do is nearly insurmountable. I need YOUR help! I need the SWB Staph to do their jobs… and do them well. I need YOU to do your job well too. What do I mean?

I mean… follow instructions and don’t procrastinate. READ THESE NEWSLETTERS! The Paddler and SWB website contain the bare minimum you need to read. And I mean… help your fellow Spankers find tickets!

We have given you all the resources and information you need to make everything happen… and yet, less than half of the camp does this (even my management team!) So many Spankers are contacting me with questions that are already answered on the website and in The Paddler.

And while the questions only take me a few minutes to respond to (phone/text/email/etc.), when you multiply that by 20+ per day, it adds up to many, many hours per week… wasted. I don’t have spare time. Every second counts for me at this time of year. For example… I was at the dentist last week. While getting injections of novocaine, I was holding my phone awkwardly over my head, responding to emails. Yes, I’m that overwhelmed.

Spanky’s is a labor-of-love for me. I love you freaky fuckers! Please show your love for me by being organized, prepared, informed, and proactive. If you fail to prepare… prepare to fail.

And… A HUGE THANK YOU to all the staff and camp members who HAVE been doing it right!!!

BMAN TICKETS – OMG SALE (ALL HANDS ON DECK!)

If you haven’t purchased a Bman ticket (or vehicle pass) yet… I say again, DON’T PANIC. Follow all the instructions, have patience, and you’ll get a ticket.

NOTE: If you’ve given up hope (bailing on Bman, or found somewhere else to camp), let me know now, so I can take you off the list of “Spankers in need of tix”.

A message from our Ticket Maven, Red Queen:

IMPORTANT… the OMG Last Chance Sale is almost here!!! Registration takes place Wed. 7/27 until Fri. 7/29 (you MUST register even if you registered for sales in the past). Then the actual sale is the following Wed. 8/3 at noon PDT sharp. If you still need a ticket, this is one of your last opportunities to buy a ticket or vehicle pass directly from Burning Man and not by having to beg and plead to find one elsewhere.

Everyone that is able should attempt to buy tix and passes. This means that if you were a partner with someone in the Steward sale, but not the purchaser, you should also be trying to buy in this sale. If you can, have your spouse, parents, siblings, cousin, friend, or pet try to buy them. They will get purchased by Spankers. We have many in need. They will attempt to buy themselves, but there are only 3000 tix and 1500 vehicle passes for sale. Let’s do whatever we can to get as many Spankers covered as possible.

Make sure your Burner Profile is created and up-to-date…or you will not be able to get tix in the OMG sale.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, please go register in the STEP program. If you don’t get tickets in the OMG sale, STEP will re-open on Thurs. 8/4 and will be open until Aug 27.

To get to your Burner Profile: www.profiles.burningman.org

General Ticket Info: www.tickets.burningman.org

Please reach out to me if you have any questions, I’m happy to try to help! redqueen@spankys.org

SWB IS MOVING TO RENO… THIS WEEKEND

This Saturday, July 30^th at noon, we will be loading the SWB toys, equipment, supplies, etc. into a big moving truck, at Liam’s (5111 Marshall Rd. Garden Valley, CA 95633). On Sunday morning, the truck drives to Reno, where it gets unloaded at Kevin’s place (2802 Kietzke Lane Reno, NV 89502). We will need Spankers to help on either end of this move… especially in Reno.

We will also need Spankers to help Kevin and Dano move some stuff around at his place to make room for Spanky’s stuff (Wednesday – Tomorrow morning) – contact dano@spankys.org if you can help.

WAPs (WORK ACCESS PASSES – AKA EARLY BUILD)

REMINDER: If you want to be part of Early Build, send me an email with “WAP request” in the subject line. In the email, tell me what day/date you want to arrive on.

WAPs will be sent to you, by Bman, via email, in early August.

WHO WANTS AN RV-MATE (POSSIBLE FREE BMAN TICKETS)

SWB SCHWAG – DEADLINES FAST APPROACHING

Spanky’s T-shirts, medallions, etc. are among the most coveted swag on the playa! If you don’t buy these now, you’ll wish you did.

Here’s the link to buy kewl SWB stuff: Schwag – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

This year, we have the following items for sale:

T-shirts and Tank Tops (in either pink or green) CUT-OFF DATE FOR ORDERING IS AUGUST 3^RD.
“SWB 15-year anniversary” medallions in solid brass
SWB embroidered patches (that can be sewn onto clothing/jackets/etc)
SWB kinky door hangers (packs of 10… excellent playa gifts!)

AGAIN:

The cut-off date for ordering T-shirts or Tank Tops is August 3^rd.
Supplies are limited on all other swag… so buy now before we sell out of them!

SWB STAPH

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryck) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer (and gold digger)

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team (and fishnet fan)

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators (

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus and Camp Bitch coordinator (but did you DIE?!!!)

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers – Coach of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Arrow – Head Cheerleader of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad (easily distracted by bumble bees and such)

arrow@spankys.org

PK the Fluffer (Carissa) – Consent Manager (she’ll say yes for $49.95)

pkthefluffer@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Doug L (Major-D)

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

July - Part 2

“Most welcome, bondage! For though art a way, methinks, to liberty”

~William Shakespeare~ Cymbeline, Act 5 Scene 4

July 2022 – Part 2

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Natalie King’s cover of Gershwin’s “Summertime” (made famous by Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald): Summertime by Ella Fitzgerald (cover by Natalie King) – YouTube

Update on Fearleading Squad Uniforms (and other SWB Schwag)
SWB is Moving to Reno!
Work/Party Weekends Coming Up
WAPs (Work Access Passes – aka Early Build)
Update on Burning Man Tickets
Rideshares To and From the Playa
Reminders: Dues/Workshifts/Appetizers/Packing List
A New Position at SWB – Booty Guards
SWB Staph

UPDATE ON FEARLEADING SQUAD UNIFORMS (AND OTHER SCHWAG)

TIME IS RUNNING OUT AND SUPPLIES ARE RUNNING OUT. MAKE YOUR PURCHASES NOW!

Well… as it turns out that the cheerleader (fearleader) uniforms we selected were only available in “little girl” sizes. Sorry for the mix-up!

So, we’ve selected a new top and skirt for purchase. The purchase price includes the SWB patch to be attached to the uniform top. But now we are running REALLY short on time. If you want one… order it NOW!!! Cut-off date for ordering is this Friday (July 22^nd)!

NOTE: If you’re interested in joining the Spanky’s Wine Bar Varsity Fearleading Squad (and we know you are) contact “Arrow” at: arrow@spankys.org She’ll fill you in on all the sexy details!

ALSO NOTE: As this is our first year doing the Fearleading Squad, it’s going to be super-easy and fun. You don’t need to learn dance routines, or lots of cheers… so if you’re feeling sexy… buy the uniform and be part of The Squad!

Spanky’s T-shirts, medallions, etc. are among the most coveted swag on the playa! If you don’t buy these now, you’ll wish you did.

Here’s the link to buy kewl SWB stuff: Schwag – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

This year, we have the following items for sale:

T-shirts and Tank Tops (in either pink or hunter green) CUT-OFF DATE FOR ORDERING IS AUGUST 3^RD.
“SWB 15-year anniversary” medallions in solid brass
SWB embroidered patches (that can be sewn onto clothing/jackets/etc)
SWB Fearleader Uniforms (that include a patch). Be sure to measure for correct sizing. CUT-OFF DATE FOR ORDERING IS JULY 22^ND
SWB kinky door hangers (packs of 10… excellent playa gifts!)

AGAIN:

The cut-off date for ordering cheerleader uniforms (for the SWB Fearleading Squad) is July 22^nd.
The cut-off date for ordering T-shirts or Tank Tops is August 3^rd.
Supplies are limited on all other swag… so buy now before we sell out of them!

SWB IS MOVING TO RENO!

Yes, you heard that right… there’s a new “Skunkworks”!

Liam has been a fantastic host to SWB over the past 7 years, and we all thank him heaps!… but it’s time for Spanky’s to move to a new location. That move is happening in a couple of weeks (last weekend of July).

Many of you met a new Spanker named Kevin at Rogue Burn last year… or maybe at 4^th of Juplaya this year. He’s an old friend of Dano’s. Keven owns “Safari Stores RV” on Kietzke Lane in Reno. Well, Kevin has generously offered to store Spanky’s equipment during the off-season. We can also do our future work/party weekends on his property. THANK YOU KEVIN!

And while our new Reno location might not be as pastoral and picturesque as Liam’s place… being in Reno will have many, many benefits!

The storage area Kevin is letting us use if much, much bigger!
We will be able to walk through the storage area and see/select any of our equipment we might need to work on, or use for a weekend, etc.
It’s a 5 minute Uber ride from the airport. Many Spankers (from areas far from CA) couldn’t attend in the past (because they’d have to fly to Sacramento, or San Francisco, or Reno… then rent a car and drive for an hour or two. Now, they can fly to Reno for less than it might cost to do a round trip from the Bay Area (if flight costs are agreeable).
We can get any kind of food at nearly any time of day/night
We can camp on his property (tent or RV)
There is no cacophony of roosters at 4am
There are bathrooms/showers we can use
The hotel/casinos are very close by… if you don’t want to camp (or if you get free room offers)
We are much closer to the playa (no having to drive a big truck over the pass – and back – every time), so we save money on trucking
There’s ample work area for painting, carpentry, etc.
Any type of store is nearby
It is now WAY more convenient for Spankers to attend the final work/party weekend after Bman!

IMPORTANT!!!

On Saturday, July 30^th we will be loading the SWB toys, equipment, supplies, etc. into a big moving truck, at Liam’s. Then on Sunday morning, the truck drives over to Reno, where it gets unloaded at Kevin’s place. We will need Spankers to help on either end of this move.

We will also need some Spankers to help Kevin move some stuff around at his place to make room for Spanky’s stuff. This can happen any time between now and Sunday, July 31.

We really, really need help, so message me right away if you’re going to be a great Spanker and volunteer for either/all of these projects! Especially on the Reno end!!!

WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS COMING UP

As you might have gathered already, our last two work/party weekends will be at the new Skunkworks in Reno (Just before Bman and just after).

Pre-burn work/party weekend: August 19-21 (Fri-Sun)

Post-burn work/party weekend: Sept 6-8 (Tue-Thurs)

Location: 2802 Kietzke Lane Reno, NV 89502

WAPs (WORK ACCESS PASSES – AKA EARLY BUILD)

Once in a while, things go amazingly well. This is the case for Spanky’s WAPs this year. While we had a very, very difficult go of it with Steward Tickets this year and didn’t get as many as we wanted/needed… the Bman Placement Team has bestowed upon us over 80 WAPs for our Early Build.

Being part of Early Build is an honor. And it’s amazing. Helping build the camp gives you a true sense of stewardship at SWB. At the end of Build Week, you can look at the camp with a sense of pride and say to yourself, “I helped build this…I helped to create one of the iconic places of Bman.” It’s also an amazing experience to see the whole city go from nearly barren playa… to the metropolis of Black Rock City, in just a few days.

But being part of Early Build is work… sometimes hard work. And there’s something for everyone. You don’t need to have construction skills to be part of Early Build. There are lots of different jobs to do.

So now is the official time to request a WAP. Even if you mentioned it to me in weeks/months prior to now… send me an email today with “WAP Request” in the subject line. In the email, let me know what day you will be arriving (you can come as early as Tuesday, Aug 23^rd… or Monday if you can help with the unload of the big truck)

WAPs will be sent to you, by Bman, via email, in early August.

UPDATE ON BURNING MAN TICKETS

If you didn’t get a ticket yet, DON’T PANIC. Everyone that needs a ticket/pass will get one. This has been true every year! Below are the tried-and-true procedures for finding tickets.

First of all…I (and other Spankers) will work tirelessly to help you. July and August are when tickets shake loose… soooo many people bail on Bman around this time. Plus… I have a knack for finding tickets.

The first thing you’ll do is sign up for STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program). Have friends/family do this for you also. Many tickets are acquired this way. Here’s the link: 2022 Secure Ticket Exchange Program (STEP) | Burning Man Tickets

You will also register for Bman’s final ticket sale, called The OMG Sale (registration is July 27-29… the actual sale is Aug 3^rd). You should also get friends and family to create a burner profile and attempt to get tix for you in this sale! This goes for those who got tickets already too!!!

Below is the Bman ticket sale schedule for 2022…and you MUST read the other info about Bman tickets. There is NEW info:

Burning Man Tickets | Official source for information about Black Rock City tickets.

Bman Ticketing Schedule

Now – Aug 27: STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program) opens/closes

July 13^th: Kid Tickets Available (if you’re bringing a kid 12 years old or younger, you must get a free print-at-home ticket on this day)

July 27 – July 29 (Wed-Fri): Registration for the OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 3^rd: OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 27: STEP closes

RIDESHARES TO AND FROM THE PLAYA

Rod H. (aka Amethyst) is our Rideshare Coordinator. Here’s some info from Amethyst….

Want to offer a Rideshare?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) how many Rideshare spot(s) you have, 3) where you are originating from , 4) picture of your vehicle and 5) the dates you are starting your trek to and from the Playa and/or Reno. No other details about your sweet ride, safe word or fares, you can brag it up with your possible captive who will need to endure your taste in music.

Want to get a Rideshare?
Email 1) your name and phone number, 2) where you are originating from and/or heading to after exodus, 3) date(s) you are able to get picked up and/or ejected to the default world, and 4) a sexy photo of you on a car hood.

After I help you connect, I leave your threesome or more and you do your seductive negotiating and arrange any exchange of payment for gas, etc. All Rideshare agreements are settled between drivers and riders.

Rod (Amethyst)

amethyst@spankys.org

REMINDERS: DUES/WORKSHIFTS/APPETIZERS/PACKING LIST

Camp dues (and donations to our overtaxed budget) can be paid here: Pay Dues – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

Signing up for Workshifts is done here: Spanky’s Wine Bar (ivolunteer.com)

Info about our SWB Appetizer Program is here: Appetizer Program – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

And the SWB Ultimate Packing List is here: Packing List – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

A NEW POSITION IN SWB… BOOTY GUARDS

PK the Fluffer (aka Carissa) is the newest member of the SWB Management Team. Her official title is “Consent Manager”. And she will be managing a staff of “Booty Guards”… who make sure our asses and our customers asses are protected, so to speak. Booty Guards work in conjunction with Niloc and his SWB Security Staff.

The main job of the Booty Guards is to ensure that the Rules of Consent are being followed at SWB… especially in our “play space”. At Spanky’s, we take consent seriously. We want our camp to be a safe space where everyone has a good time. Booty Guards will help make that happen. They will also have the responsibility to create “incident reports” as needed, in the case of consent violations.

Interested in becoming a Booty Guard? Want more info?

Email PK the Fluffer at: pkthefluffer@spankys.org

SWB STAPH

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryck) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer and Master Macerator

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus and Camp Bitch coordinator (but did you DIE?!!!)

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers – Coach of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Arrow – Head Cheerleader of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad (easily distracted by bumble bees and such)

arrow@spankys.org

PK the Fluffer (Carissa) – Consent Manager (she’ll say yes for $49.95)

pkthefluffer@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Doug L (Major-D)

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

July - Part 1

“Your panic is our party time!”

July 2022 – Part 1

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Julia Westlin’s cover of Coldplay’s “The Scientist” (goddam, I love this girls voice): Coldplay – The Scientist (cover by Julia Westlin) – YouTube

Spanky’s Schwag and Fearleading Squad Uniforms
The Burning Man 2022 Survival Guide
Burning Man Tickets
Another SWB Marriage Ceremony Announcement
Camp Dues/Budget
Remember to Sign Up for Workshifts
Still Waiting on WAPs
SWB Staph

SPANKY’S SCHWAG and FEARLEADING SQUAD UNIFORMS

Spanky’s T-shirts, medallions, etc. are among the most coveted swag on the playa! If you don’t buy these now, you’ll wish you did.

Schwag – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

This year, we have the following items for sale:

T-shirts and Tank Tops (in either pink or hunter green) CUT-OFF DATE FOR ORDERING IS AUGUST 3^RD.
“SWB 15-year anniversary” medallions in solid brass
SWB embroidered patches (that can be sewn onto clothing/jackets/etc)
SWB Fearleader Uniforms (that include a patch). Be sure to measure for correct sizing. CUT-OFF DATE FOR ORDERING IS JULY 22^ND
SWB kinky door hangers (packs of 10… excellent playa gifts!)

NOTE:

The cut-off date for ordering cheerleader uniforms (for the SWB Fearleading Squad) is July 22^nd.
The cut-off date for ordering T-shirts or Tank Tops is August 3^rd.
Supplies are limited on all other swag… so buy now before we sell out of them!

NOTE: If you’re interested in joining the Spanky’s Wine Bar Varsity Fearleading Squad… contact Head Fearleader “Arrow” at: arrow@spankys.org She’ll fill you in on all the sexy details!

THE BURNING MAN 2022 SURVIVAL GUIDE

Even seasoned Burners should read this guide EVERY YEAR! Here’s the link to the guide: Survival Guide 2022 (burningman.org)

BURNING MAN TICKETS

The Spanky’s LSD (Late Season Directed) Ticket Sale selectees have been made and the list has been submitted to Bman. (These are the “Steward Tix” that we were supposed to get back in March). As you are probably aware… there are more Spankers in need of tix than were available in the LSD. So we had to make tough choices.

If you are one of the selectees, you got an email from me yesterday (be sure to check your SPAM folder, just in case). Also, if you are on the selectee list, it is incumbent upon us to help those who were not selected! Ticket Buyers are precluded from joining any other Bman ticket sales/STEP/etc… but not ticket partners… and not friends/family members. In other words… lets have everyone and their uncle create Burner Profiles and help those in need find tickets/passes!!!

IF YOU STILL NEED TO PURCHASE TICKETS (or a vehicle pass)..

If you are not a selectee, DON’T PANIC. Everyone that needs a ticket/pass will get one. This has been true every year! Below are the tried-and-true procedures for finding tickets for you. I (and other Spankers) will work tirelessly to help you also. July and August are when tickets shake loose… soooo many people bail on Bman around this time.

The first thing you’ll do is sign up for STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program). Have friends/family do this for you also. Many tickets are acquired this way. Here’s the link: 2022 Secure Ticket Exchange Program (STEP) | Burning Man Tickets

Below is the Bman ticket sale schedule for 2022…and you MUST read the other info about Bman tickets. There is NEW info:

Burning Man Tickets | Official source for information about Black Rock City tickets.

Bman Ticketing Schedule

July 15-20: SWB LSD Ticket Sale (for those selected)

Now – Aug 27: STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program) opens/closes

July 13^th: Kid Tickets Available (if you’re bringing a kid 12 years old or younger, you must get a free print-at-home ticket on this day)

July 27 – July 29 (Wed-Fri): Registration for the OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 3^rd: OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 27: STEP closes

ANOTHER SWB MARRIAGE CEREMONY ANNOUNCEMENT

…from Dallas and Ryan…

“Please join us for Pearls and Swine, a Spankys wedding event to make the gods blush!

Dallas and Boyfriend will be missing the burn in 2023 to make room for their destination wedding. They would love to share their nuptials with their camp family this year with an appropriately themed ceremony.

Togas are encouraged. There are some super cool tutorials on how to make one from most fabrics you have around the house. You can find a few here:

https://www.wikihow.com/Wrap-a-Toga?amp=1

Pearls, gold embellishments, flower crowns, fancy rope, grapes and wine, cheese plates are all encouraged. We will have a hand fasting ceremony at 7pm on Friday under the Bass Tent. For anyone able to contribute, please bring your favorite bottle of wine of some grapes and cheese to share with camp after the ceremony.”

CAMP DUES/BUDGET

Well… this is the year for disasters, inflation, and soaring fuel costs! Every year, Spanky’s has at least one major challenge. This year… we get them all at once. Plus, most of us have been dealing with Covid issues, mental health issues, and financial woes. That being said…

In the past month, we have lost (or had problems with) our sound system, our trucking, our generator rentals, our kitchen/sanctuary/play-space tents, and a host of other things. We have solved most of these problems, but it’s been very costly. That being said…

When we did our budget in February, it was based on the prices of fuel, construction materials, etc. AT THAT TIME. Things have gone up in cost in the past 6 months. Fuel alone has gone up around $1.50/gallon since then. That being said…

We have also lost many Spankers this year because they lost faith in getting tickets, and made other plans. So our numbers have dwindled. We are no longer a camp of 200-225 this year. More like 145 at the moment. Which means we’ve collected less camp dues. That being said…

It is very important that you all pay your camp dues right away! SWB is also accepting donations to help close the budget-gap for 2022. Dues and donations can both be paid on the SWB website, here: Pay Dues – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

REMEMBER TO SIGN UP FOR WORKSHIFTS

SHIFTS ARE FILLING UP FAST!

The SWB “WUSSI” system is sitting there, patiently, panting, waiting… for you to sign up for your SWB workshifts. Spankers are required to sign up for at least 12 hours of workshifts while on the playa.

Click here to sign up for shifts: Spanky’s Wine Bar (ivolunteer.com)

Also… nobody has signed up for Camp Bitch shifts. This is a key position and it requires at least 2 years of experience camping with Spanky’s. If we don’t get some SWB veterans signing up as Camp Bitch… I’ll be forced to make phone calls to recruit. Yes, I’m talking about you… yes, you… don’t make me call you… just go sign up now 😉

EARLY BUILD – WAPs

The Bman Placement Team still hasn’t allocated Spanky’s it WAPs for 2022. As soon as they do, we will begin the process of distributing them to the Spankers who want to come early and help build the camp.

SWB STAPH

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryck) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer and Master Macerator

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers – Coach of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Arrow – Head Cheerleader of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad (easily distracted by bumble bees and such)

arrow@spankys.org

PK the Fluffer (Carissa) – Consent Manager (she’ll say yes for $49.95)

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Doug L (Major-D)

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

June

“We’d love to serve you… but we’re all tied up right now”

June 2022 – Part 1

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Cocaine by Jez Dior – Jez Dior – Cocaine – YouTube

Spanky’s is Officially Placed. Our Playa Address is…
Spanky’s Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)
A Big Announcement!
Camp Events
Work/Party Weekend – Headcount Please
4^th of Juplaya – Headcount Please
Early Arrival – Work Access Passes (WAPs)
Workshifts on the Playa – WUSSI
SWB Staph

Howdy Spankers,

Sorry for the delay in the release of The Paddler. I’ve been waiting desperately for many people to get me information about many things. It’s been quite a couple of months. I still don’t have all the info and answers I’ve been waiting for, but I had to send you all SOMETHING. There will be another issue of The Paddler in a week or so with ticket info and more announcements. But here’s what I know so far about stuff and things…

Spanky’s is officially “placed”. Our playa address is…

7:30 & F (in the unofficial “red light district” of Bman)

We did ask to be placed on the Esplanade this year, but it seems we are too big. In recent years, groups our size seem to always get placed in the Village areas (around E and F streets). SWB has been in this area a few times now and ROCKED IT every time. The citizens of Black Rock City always find us, no matter where we are! And being off-esplanade does afford us a few positives, like; not as much harassment from leo’s, quieter daytime crowds, and not having to be open 24/7, being able to be a lot more risqué (esplanade is supposed to be kiddie-friendly)

As for the size of our real estate… We are 250 ft. x 450 ft. (or bigger than the size of two football fields) and we are on the corner of 7:30 & F.

Spanky’s Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)

I SWEAR, I’M MORE ANXIOUS AND FRUSTRATED THAN ALL OF YOU… BUT HERE’S THE LATEST ON THE SPANKY’S TICKETS.

After sending numerous emails to the Bman Placement Team and not getting any response for 5 weeks… I did something I never thought I’d have to do. I contacted my friend, Maid Marian.

(For those not in-the-know, Maid Marian is the CEO of Bman. Contacting Marian about a ticketing issue is not an appropriate thing to do. It’s kinda like calling the Governor to help you with your state tax filing.)

But Marian stepped in and spoke with “Level” (head of Placement). Level got back to me immediately with an apology and an assurance that our ticket sale IS HAPPENING THIS MONTH.

However, I still don’t have all the details on the ticket sale. But we should all be ready for it at the drop of a hat.

So if you want to get a ticket through SWB…

Make sure you have a Burner Profile on the Bman website: https://profiles.burningman.org
Make sure your Burner Profile is up to date
Make sure you have a debit or credit card with enough room/money on it, to make your ticket and vehicle pass purchase (PayPal debit cards don’t work)
Pay your camp dues: Pay Dues – Spanky’s Wine Bar (spankys.org)

More Bman Ticket Info…

Below is the Bman ticket sale schedule for 2022…and you MUST read the other info about Bman tickets. There is NEW info:

Burning Man Tickets | Official source for information about Black Rock City tickets.

Bman Ticketing Schedule

June (dates TBA): SWB Steward Ticket Sale

April – Aug(?): STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program) opens/closes

Early July: Ticket fulfilment (delivery) begins

July 6^th: Kid Tickets Available (if you’re bringing a kid 12 years old or younger, you must get a free print-at-home ticket on this day)

July 27 – July 29 (Wed-Fri): Registration for the OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 3^rd: OMG Ticket Sale happens

A Big Announcement

Most of you know Niloc (Colin) and Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia). And many of you know that they are engaged to be married. Well, hang on to your socks ladies and germs… I’m sooooooo happy to announce… They’ve decided to get married at Bman/Spanky’s this summer!!!

YouTube

Wednesday afternoon (Aug 31^st), just before sunset, we will all be gathering under the BASS to bear witness to this perfect union.

We are in the midst of planning the event, but one thing you might be able to do to help… you know the SWB Appetizer Program? We will need around 8 of you (who are planning to do higher-end apps) to serve yours during the time before the ceremony. And if anyone wants to bring a couple bottles of champagne and cups… that would be nice too!

As most of you know, Olivia is a founding member of Spanky’s. She handles most of the sexy aspects of our camp. And for the past 15 years, has been one of my closest friends. Colin is also a member of Spanky’s Management, heading up the Security Team… and I couldn’t have picked a more perfect partner for Olivia than my friend Colin! (and vice versa)

Camp Events

We are currently working on our schedule of events for burn week. We will be having a few themed parties, events, weddings, and lots of DJs.

Here’s what I can tell you so far;

MPR (morning painjoy radio) mornings daily

Tuesday night – Fearleader attack on another camp

Wednesday sunset – Olivia & Colin’s wedding

Wednesday night – Spank dat Bootie (mashup music party)

Thursday night – Fearleader attack on another camp

Friday night – The Festival of Bubastis (SWB’s flagship event – femdom party)

If you want to do some DJing at Spanky’s, we would love that. You don’t need to be a pro-DJ. All you need is an mp3 player and a playlist. If you have an idea for an event or themed party, let us know what your idea is. Contact djdirtydan@spankys.org

Work/Party Weekends – Headcount Please!

Wanna be part of “how the sausage is made”? We have some work/party weekends prior to Bman where we build, paint, organize, plot/plan and… party like rock stars!

These weekends are productive and lots of fun! If you live in the western US, you’re expected to come to these weekends. This year, the schedule is:

June 24-26 (Fri-Sun)

Aug 19-21 (Fri-Sun)

And after Bman… Sept 8-11 (Thu-Sun)

Our work/party weekend are held at Liam’s farm (yes, it’s an actual farm with animals). We refer to it as The Skunkworks, or The Kinky Mountain Farm. The location is:

5111 Marshall Rd. Garden Valley, California 95633

More info about work/party weekend can be found on the SWB website’s “Skunkworks” page (extra credit if you know where the term “skunkworks” came from)

4^th of Juplaya – Headcount Please!

I need a headcount!

Email me if you’re coming: admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

NOTE: Because Bman tix are sooo hard to get… and with the success of Rogue Burn last year… and the fact that the 4^th falls on a Monday (creating a natural long-weekend), I predict that 4^th of Juplaya with be huge this year… and awesome!

If you’ve never been to the playa when it isn’t Bman, this “non-event” is a real treat. In my opinion, it’s just a good as Bman. The vast, stark, and romantic vastness of the Black Rock Desert is much more vivid and breathtaking when you’re not in the confines of the Bman trash fence, surrounded by flashy theme camps, loud music, and huge structures.

“4^th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days. You can drive fast (But be careful! It’s easy to roll your vehicle at high speed). You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs. You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc). There are some small theme camps and art cars. Very few cops. Lots of random parties. Vast open space. Cool burners.

We will be setting up a small version of Spanky’s there. We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator, fuel, bar ice, etc. With inflation and the UNBELIEVABLE cost of fuel… Juplaya camp dues will be $100.00 per person. PayPal to jimnhillas_gc@yahoo.com

We will probably head up to the playa on Thursday morning, June 30th… and depart early on Monday, July 4^th. But you can show up any time. Playa location is the spot where they build The Man. After driving through Gerlach, drive around/up the playa to the 12-Mile Entrance to the playa. Drive roughly half-way across the playa and we’ll be around there.

Workshifts on the Playa

We will be doing “sign-ups” for workshifts on the playa again this year. Being part of a Theme Camps means that you are going to be a party thrower… not just a party goer. All members of Spanky’s are required to do a MINIMUM of 12 hours of workshifts over the course of the week.

I’d like to thank Major-D and SpankIT for the huge amount of work they did on our sign-up system… called WUSSI. And thanks to all the Spankers who helped out with updating the job descriptions on the SWB website. And heaps of thanks to Gabrielle (Cleopatra) who will, yet again, be our Workshift Manager.

Here’s Major-D with his info on how to sign up for workshifts…

WUSSI IS LIVE. Yes, it’s time to start scheduling your workshifts with Spanky’s amazingly simple Workshift Unified Scheduling System Interactive.

For a quick tour (or to start signing up), click this link: https://swb.ivolunteer.com/

Links for each day are at the bottom of that page.

It’s all pretty self-explanatory, but here’s how it works: As you scroll down, you’ll see each day is divided into sections for 2-hour shifts, 4-hour shifts, and 8-hour shifts, with time slots on the left and jobs across the top of each section. Just click on the “Schedule” button for a shift you want.

Once you successfully sign up, your first name and last initial will show for that slot, and the number of openings will drop by 1. Your last name will never be shown publicly.

Important: YOUR WUSSI SIGNUP INFORMATION MUST MATCH YOUR SWB SIGNUP INFORMATION, and sign up with your actual name, not your playa name.

You can navigate to different days with the drop-down list in the top-right corner.

Click to request an e-mail confirmation when you sign up, then print it out, or screenshot and save for future reference.

Notes:

If you’ve already filled out an SWB application, you can start signing up for shifts immediately.

If you’re a new Spanker who hasn’t been formally vetted, your work shifts are provisional.

Going forward, it may take a day or two to transfer SWB signup info into WUSSI, but all existing signups are in.

Camping somewhere else but want to get in on the fun? We can probably make that happen. Drop a line to one of the three admin contacts in note-3 on the WUSSI home page (https://swb.ivolunteer.com/ ), and let us know.

Change your mind about a shift? Want to change to share a time slot with a friend? No problem. You can do that yourself from the e-mail you requested confirming your original sign-up, or one of the 3 admins on the WUSSI home page can help (https://swb.ivolunteer.com/ )

If you are having trouble signing up for a shift, most likely you are using a different name or address than used for your SWB signup, or WUSSI doesn’t know you’ve applied to Spanky’s. Contact Spanky’s Workshift Manager, Gabrielle, at Cleopatra@Spankys.org), or one of the other 2 admins from the WUSSI homepage for help.

Early Arrival – WAPs (work access passes)

If you want to come to Bman early and help build the camp, we’d love your ASSistance! Being part of “early build” is an honor. It’s amazing watching the camp and the whole city going up. But it’s also work… hard work! But it’s fun too. And at the end of early build, you feel a true sense of ownership of the camp. You can look back and say “I helped create this!”

In order to come to “early build”, you must have a Bman ticket plus an actual “Work Access Pass”, which are given to SWB by Bman. And I have to approve everyone who wants one. I don’t know how many WAPs we will get yet, but Bman is usually pretty generous with them.

I will be taking names and providing more info about WAPs next month. Contact me if you have questions or need to know right away (to secure travel plans).

SWB Staph

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryck) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer and Master Macerator

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers – Coach of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Arrow – Head Cheerleader of the SWB Varsity Fearleading Squad (easily distracted by bumble bees and such)

arrow@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Doug L (Major-D)

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

May

“We’d love to serve you… but we’re all tied up right now”

May 2022

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Opiuo – Quack Fat Opiuo – Quack Fat (Official Music Video) – YouTube

Spanky’s Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)
T-shirt designs
Work/Party Weekends
4^th of Juplaya
Apogaea (the Colorado regional burn)
Early Arrival – Work Access Passes (WAPs)
Workshifts on the Playa
RV Pumpouts, Water, and Power
SWB Staph

Spanky’s Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)

As I mentioned in the last Paddler… I finally got confirmation about Spanky’s Steward Tickets. I have been informed by the head of the Placement Team that it will be happening in early June.

We will be getting our full allocation of tickets.
They will be at the lower price of $475.00.
I still don’t know if we will have to be “paired up” for the sale, or if people can buy tickets individually.
I still don’t know the exact date(s) for our ticket sale.
As soon as I hear from the Bman Placement Team, I’ll announce it.

More Bman Ticket Info…

Below is the Bman ticket sale schedule for 2022…and you MUST read the other info about Bman tickets. There is NEW info:

Burning Man Tickets | Official source for information about Black Rock City tickets.

Bman Ticketing Schedule

March 16 – May 18: Ticket Aid Program Open (formerly Low Income Tickets)

June (dates TBA): SWB Steward Ticket Sale

April (?) – Aug(?): STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program) opens/closes

Early July: Ticket fulfilment (delivery) begins

July 6^th: Kid Tickets Available (if you’re bringing a kid 12 years old or younger, you must get a free print-at-home ticket on this day)

July 27 – July 29 (Wed-Fri): Registration for the OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 3^rd: OMG Ticket Sale happens

T-shirt Designs

Well… it’s been a few weeks and I have received no ideas/drawings for designs for our 2022 SWB T-shirts yet. Whatupwitdat?

Get going on this you crazy creative Spankers!!

Work/Party Weekends

Wanna be part of “how the sausage is made”? We have some work/party weekends prior to Bman where we build, paint, organize, plot/plan and… party like rock stars!

These weekends are productive and lots of fun! If you live in the western US, you’re expected to come to these weekends. This year, the schedule is:

June 24-26 (Fri-Sun)

Aug 19-21 (Fri-Sun)

And after Bman… Sept 8-11 (Thu-Sun)

Our work/party weekend are held at our friend Liam’s farm (yes, it’s an actual farm with animals). We refer to it as The Skunkworks, or The Kinky Mountain Farm. The location is:

5111 Marshall Rd. Garden Valley, California 95633

More info about work/party weekend can be found on the SWB website’s “Skunkworks” page (extra credit if you know where the term “skunkworks” came from)

4^th of Juplaya

I need a headcount! Email me if you’re coming: jimhillas_gc@yahoo.com

NOTE: With the success of Rogue Burn last year… and the fact that the 4^th falls on a Monday (creating a natural long-weekend), I predict that 4^th of Juplaya with be huge this year… and awesome!

“4^th of Juplaya” is kinda like the way Bman used to be, in ye olden days. You can drive fast (But be careful! It’s easy to roll your vehicle at high speed). You can go skinny-dipping at the hot springs. You can come and go as you please (breakfast at Bruno’s, etc). There are some small theme camps and art cars. Very few cops. Lots of random parties. Vast open space. Cool burners.

We will be setting up a small version of Spanky’s there. We all just pitch in a bit for the wine/beer for our bar, generator fuel, etc. ($50-ish per person)

Plus… the 4^th falls on a Monday this year! That means there should be a big turn-out. And rumor has it, Adriana & Co will be out there with us doing “Spank dat Bootie”!

We will probably head up to the playa on Wednesday morning, June 29th… and depart early on Monday, July 4^th. But you can show up any time. Playa location will be announced in early June.

Apogaea (the Colorado regional burn)

June 9-11

A few of us Spankers will be going to Apogaea this year… myself included. And Crash (Mindy) has a couple extra tickets if anyone is interested in buying them. I haven’t gone before, so I can’t give a first-hand account… but everyone I talk to about it says that it’s a great event! We are registered as a theme camp there, but what we will mostly be doing is travelling around the event, like a pack of kinky Spankers, giving out dirty namebadges, floggings, paddlings, flaming enemas, etc.

Info about the event here:

Colorado Burning Man Regional Event – Apogaea – June 9-11, 2022

If you’re interested in going let me know. We might have a place for you to sleep in Denver before/after the event if you’re flying in.

Workshifts on the Playa

We will be doing “sign-ups” for workshifts on the playa this year.

Next month we will post the link to the site where you can sign up. As I’m sure you already know… every Spanker is required to do a bare minimum of 12 hours of shifts during the week on the playa.

Our sign-up platform is lovingly named WUSSI (workshift unified sign-up system – interactive). There you will be able to see the jobs, the hours of each shift, and what shifts are taken/available.

In the meantime, look over the “jobs” on the SWB website to see what you might be interested in doing (call them jobs is weird, because most of them are fun AF). And there’s lots of different types of workshifts… something for everyone.

I’m also proud to announce that Cleopatra (Gabreille) will once again be managing this program for us… Thanks gurl!

More info next month!

Early Arrival – WAPs (work access passes)

In order to come to “early build”, you must have an actual “pass”, which are given to SWB from Bman. And I have to approve everyone who wants one. I don’t know yet, how many WAPs we will get, but Bman is usually pretty liberal with them. And we will be allowing more Spankers to come even earlier this year.

I will be taking names and providing mor info about WAPs next month. Contact me if you have questions, or need to know right away (to secure travel plans)

RV Services

The following services are available for purchase for RVers;

CUT-OFF DATE FOR PAYMENT IS JULY 1^st!!!

1- Grey/Black water pump-outs

2- Potable water refills

3- Dedicated power

These are services that are not part of your camp dues. They also must be paid for in advance.

Blackbird & Amethyst (Mark & Rod) are they guys in charge of coordinating these services with the vendors, and collecting the fees. You can contact them at mwharri01@gmail.com to request services and make payments.

The price schedule for 2022 is as follows:

Pump-outs cost $185.00 each

Potable water refills are $2.00/gallon (you’ll need to know approximately how much you’ll need)

Dedicated power is $800.00 for 30amps or $1000.00 for 50amps (very limited supply of 50amp)

NOTE: The people/vendors who provide these RV services are doing a VERY hard job under the most adverse conditions. They are honest hand hard-working. They do their very best to fulfill all your needs. But please understand that it’s Bman… it’s the desert… there are always unforeseen variables… and sometimes things break-down unexpectedly. Please consider this before you have a massive conniption when something doesn’t happen exactly as planned. Nothing is a guarantee at Burning Man.

SWB Staph

REMINDER: If you are a member of the Spanky’s Staph, you will note (at the bottom of this newsletter) that you have a new email addy… yay! Please contact Deryk (aka SpankIT) for help setting up your mailbox. spankit@spankys.org

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryk) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer and Master Macerator

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Cleopatra (Gabrielle) – Workshift Manager (kiss my asp!)

cleopatra@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

March - Part 3

“We won’t do anything to you today… that you won’t beg for again tomorrow”

March 2022 – part 3

The “Main Sale” Issue

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Eddie Money’s “Two Tickets to Paradise”: Eddie Money – Two Tickets to Paradise (Live 1987) – YouTube

The Main Ticket Sale – TODAY at noon
Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)
More Ticket Info
New SWB Website
SWB Staph

The Main Ticket Sale – TODAY at noon

Main Sale is TODAY!!! (March 30^th) at NOON pacific time.

1pm mountain time

2pm central time

3pm eastern time

You access the sale through the link in the email sent to you from Bman Ticketing last week… or through your Burner Profile: https://profiles.burningman.org

Please be at your computer (not phone or tablet) a few minutes before the Main Sale begins. And have all your ducks in a row. The Main Sale sells out of tickets in a couple/few minutes. Don’t be late!!!

Reminder: You had to register for this sale last week in order to participate. Hopefully you dragooned friends/family into registering for the sale too. Remind them to enter the sale today!

I’ll be monitoring the sale today. If you’re on FB, please post your progress/successes/failures or any problems you may encounter to our SWB page. If you’re not on FB, text or email me. 916-337-5353. admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)

I finally got confirmation about Spanky’s Steward Tickets. We will be getting our full allocation of tickets. They will be at the lower price of $475.00. Bman doesn’t know yet if we will have to be “paired up” for the sale, or if people can buy tickets individually.

The Spanky’s Steward Ticket Sale (STS) will be happening in June. As soon as I get the exact date(s), I’ll let all y’all know.

NOTE: If you wind up getting a ticket(s) in the Main Sale, you personally aren’t allowed to enter the STS, but your friends/family/coworkers can. And Main Sale tickets are transferrable. (Do you see what I’m saying?)

More Bman Ticket Info

Below is the Bman ticket sale schedule for 2022…and you MUST read the other info about Bman tickets. There is NEW info:

Burning Man Tickets | Official source for information about Black Rock City tickets.

Bman Ticketing Schedule

March 16 – May 18: Ticket Aid Program Open (formerly Low Income Tickets)

March 30^th: Main Sale happens (presumably at noon Pacific Time)

June (dates TBA): SWB Steward Ticket Sale

April (?) – Aug(?): STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program) opens/closes

Early July: Ticket fulfilment (delivery) begins

July 6^th: Kid Tickets Available (if you’re bringing a kid 12 years old or younger, you must get a free print-at-home ticket on this day)

July 27 – July 29 (Wed-Fri): Registration for the OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 3^rd: OMG Ticket Sale happens

New Spanky’s Website

DO NOT TRY TO SIGN UP ON OUR OLD WEBSITE!!!!!!!!

(spankyswinebar.com & jimhillas.org don’t work any longer… they’re dead… kaput… and uneditable)

OUR NEW WEBSITE IS: www.spankys.org

Please look over the info on the site. And you must sign up to camp with Spanky’s this year (even SWB veterans must sign up… every year).

Also, please pay your camp dues on the website. If you have any questions, email admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

SWB Staph

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryk) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer and Master Macerator

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Disco Tits (Liz)– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games and floggings)

tripp@spankys.org

discotits@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

March - Part 2

“Build a man a fire, he’ll be warm for a night… Set a man on fire, he’ll be warm for the rest of his life”

March 2022 – part 2

The “If you don’t do these things you’re gonna be screwed”… Issue

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Ennio Morricone’s classic “C’Era Una Volta II West” (from the movie “Once Upon a Time in the West): Ennio Morricone – Once upon a time in the West (Sergio Leone film) – YouTube

The Main Ticket Sale
Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)
More Ticket Info
New Spanky’s Website
Camp Dues (redux)
SWB T-Shirt and SWB Sticker Designs (redux)
SWB Staph

IT IS SOOOOOO IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ ALL THIS INFO!!!!!

Spanky’s Bman ticket situation is VERY unusual this year. As previously stated, Bman accidentally omitted SWB from the Steward Ticket sale a couple weeks ago. But they have stated that we WILL get our allocation of tickets in April. So things are a bit backwards this year. Spankers will be registering for (and attempting to get tix in) the Main Ticket sale this month… (The STS sale is next month)

The Main Ticket Sale

Main Sale Registration is next week!!! (March 23^rd -25^th Wed-Fri)

The actual Main Sale is the following week (March 30^th)

It is important that all Spankers, your family members, your friends, and co-workers all enter the Main Ticket Sale. We need all the tickets we can get! Our allocation of Steward Tickets only accounts for half the number of tickets we need! And if you’re lucky enough to get tix… make sure to purchase 2 tix and 1 vehicle pass.

To participate in any of the Bman ticket sales, all potential buyers must have an updated Burner Profile! Do this now at: Home | Burning Man Profiles

Everyone must also register for the ticket sale. This happens next week. To register, you’ll go to your Burner Profile during the registration window (next Wednesday – Friday)

Tickets in the Main Sale sell-out in a few minutes! So, everyone needs to be at their computer, logged on and ready to purchase a few minutes before noon pacific time on Wednesday, March 30^th.

Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)

The STS will be happening for SWB some time in April. I’m still waiting for the salient details about this sale. As soon as I know, you’ll know.

NOTE: If you wind up getting a ticket in the Main Sale, you personally aren’t allowed to enter the STS, but your friends/family/coworkers can. And Main Sale tickets are transferrable. (Do you see what I’m saying?)

More Bman Ticket Info

Below is the Bman ticket sale schedule for 2022…and you MUST read the other info about Bman tickets. There is NEW info: Burning Man Tickets | Official source for information about Black Rock City tickets.

Bman Ticketing Schedule

March 16 – May 18: Ticket Aid Program Open (formerly Low Income Tickets)

March 23 – March 25 (Wed-Fri): Main Sale registration opens (you must register to attempt to get tix in the Main Sale!!!

March 30^th: Main Sale happens (presumably at noon Pacific Time)

Early April: SWB Steward Ticket Sale

DATES TBA: STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program) opens/closes

Early July: Ticket fulfilment (delivery) begins

July 6^th: Kid Tickets Available (if you’re bringing a kid 12 years old or younger, you must get a free print-at-home ticket on this day)

July 27 – July 29 (Wed-Fri): Registration for the OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 3^rd: OMG Ticket Sale happens

New Spanky’s Website

DO NOT TRY TO SIGN UP ON OUR OLD WEBSITE!!!!!!!!

(spankyswinebar.com doesn’t work any more… it’s dead… and uneditable)

OUR NEW WEBSITE IS: www.spankys.org

Please look over the info on the site. And you must sign up to camp with Spanky’s this year (even SWB veterans must sign up… every year).

Also, please pay your camp dues on the website. If you have any questions, email admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Camp Dues

Camp dues are what make Spanky’s possible. Dues pay for our infrastructure, administration, work parties, construction supplies, wine/beer, DJ system, transportation and storage, and a wide host of other expenses. We all pay camp dues to cover these costs.

Dues for 2022 are increasing by $75.00 due to inflation, 2.5 years of SWB year-round expenses, our need for a whole new sound system, and a massive increase in the cost of lumber/construction supplies…etc.

So Camp dues are $325.00 per Spanker if paid this month. Dues will increase by $25.00 each month if paid later (i.e. $350.00 if paid in April… $375.00 if paid in May… etc.).

If you paid dues in 2020 (and didn’t get a refund) your 2020 dues will be deducted from your current dues. If you can’t remember if you paid dues in 2020 or how much you paid… I have all the records. Contact me.

NOTE: STS tickets are $100.00 cheaper than other Bman tix, but you must pay camp dues in advance to be considered for STS tickets

FREELOADER DUES

If you don’t want to be burdened with workshifts during the event, or if you absolutely MUST leave the event prior to SWB break-down and final MOOPing at the end of the event… we have an option to pay a higher level of camp dues. (NOTE: Freeloader Dues do not absolve you from cleaning up and perfectly MOOPing your personal camp space.)

Freeloader dues can also be paid on the SWB website and cost $800.00.

FINANCIAL HARDSHIP CASES

As we’ve always done at SWB… we will still have our “Fund For Wayward Spankers”. If you are truly broke AF and really, really want to be part of our illustrious camp, contact APJ and he will try to work out some kind of deal. This may be a payment plan, extra workshifts, etc.

Spanky’s projected budget for 2022 is also posted on our new website – Dues page.

SWB T-Shirt Design and Sticker Design

Hey artsy-fartsy Spankers! We’re doing SWB 2022 t-shirts and oval bumper stickers again this year. I’d love to see some design ideas. Work something up and email it to me. Maybe you’ll be the one selected this year! (And won’t that look great on your resume!?)

The T-shirt design should include “Spanky’s Wine Bar”, and “2022”, and our playa address (which we don’t know yet, so just use “13 O’clock and Z street” as a placeholder), and you can add one of Spanky’s existing motto’s or create a new one if you want.

If you’ve never seen our bumper stickers… the design should be a 4-inch wide oval with “SWB” in the center (and that should be a fun/kinky/perverted font – find one or make one) and the perimeter should have “Spanky’s Wine Bar – 2022 arching the top, and some clever saying/motto along the bottom arc.

At this point, the formatting isn’t important (jpeg, etc). You can even do a sketch on paper and send me a pic of it. Deadline for submissions is June 1^st. Questions? Email me.

SWB Staph

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryk) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer and Master Macerator

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretaker

eve@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Gwyn– Bar Tenders and Bar Backs (and purveyors of dice games)

tripp@spankys.org

strawberrytallcake@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

March - Part 1

“Build a man a fire, he’ll be warm for a night… Set a man on fire, he’ll be warm for the rest of his life”

March 2022

The Ticket Kerfuffle Issue

In this issue…Which should be read while watching/listening to: Katie Goodman’s heartwarming “I didn’t fuck it up”… I Didn’t F*ck It Up – Katie Goodman – YouTube

Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)
More Ticket Info
Work Access Passes (Early Build)
New Spanky’s Website
Camp Dues
SWB T-Shirt and SWB Sticker Designs
SWB Staph

Steward Ticket Sale (STS – formerly known as the DGS)

Well… it wouldn’t be Burning Man if we didn’t have hurdles to overcome. Here’s what’s happened so far;

In December, Bman announced that all returning Theme Camps needed to fill out a form called a Statement of Intent (SOI – because there isn’t enough bureaucracy in the process already… sheez!) in order to qualify for Directed Tickets (now called Steward Tickets, presumably because changing the name of the tickets will have a positive effect on everyone’s behavior?). So, of course, I went to my Burner Profile and filled out the SOI form… a full day before the deadline (because I’m a good soldier and I do what I’m told).

We were originally informed that our STS allocation would be provided to Spanky’s in mid-late January. Apparently, there were delays in the system… they amended the announcement date to Monday, February 15^th. That day came and went without any announcements. But the following day (Feb. 16^th) people with art cars were getting their STS allocations… so I gave it another day, figuring they were just running behind schedule again. Then on the 17^th, friends of mine who also run theme camps began getting their allocation emails. SWB still didn’t get ours, so on the 18^th, I sent an email to Placement asking what was going on.

Four-and-a-half days later, I finally got a response claiming that I didn’t fill out the SOI form… LIES!!! Damn lies I tell ya!!! Completely untrue! A pure prevarication! A canard! I did the SOI with a day to spare. And I provided Placement with the supporting evidence.

So… to make a long story short (I know, too late), The Placement Team will be giving us our allocation of Steward Tickets… in April. They have assured me (yes, in writing) that we will get our allocation of tickets. I’m waiting for confirmation that the tickets will be priced at the discounted STS pricing, but it’s probably safe to assume so. I’ll let you all know about the pricing as soon as I get confirmation.

This may turn out to be a blessing in disguise for many of us, as we may have gotten our tax refunds at that time (if you file soon!). It also gives me more time to beta-test and tweek the new SWB website.

And some of us may be able to score tickets in the Main Sale, which will ease the burden of demand on the STS allocation. Which leads me to…

More Bman Ticket Info

Below is the Bman ticket sale schedule for 2022…and you must read the other info about Bman tickets here Burning Man Tickets | Official source for information about Black Rock City tickets.

There’s new info here… read it!

March 16 – May 18: Ticket Aid Program Open (formerly Low Income Tickets)

March 23 – March 25 (Wed-Fri): Main Sale registration opens (you must register to attempt to get tix in the Main Sale!!!

March 30^th: Main Sale happens (presumably at noon Pacific Time)

Early April: SWB Steward Ticket Sale

DATES TBA: STEP (Secure Ticket Exchange Program) opens/closes

Early July: Ticket fulfilment (delivery) begins

July 6^th: Kid Tickets Available (if you’re bringing a kid 12 years old or younger, you must get a free print-at-home ticket on this day)

July 27 – July 29 (Wed-Fri): Registration for the OMG Ticket Sale happens

August 3^rd: OMG Ticket Sale happens

I urge all of you to register for the Main Sale next month (March 23^rd) and attempt to buy 2 tix and a vehicle pass. If you don’t get tickets, it won’t effect your ability to be in Spanky’s STS in April. Main sale tickets are fully transferrable. (If you have questions about this, email me.)

To enter ANY Bman Ticket Sale, you must have an up-to-date Burner Profile. Take care of that NOW: Home | Burning Man Profiles

Work Access Passes (formerly Early Access Passes)

One exception is… if you need to buy plane tickets soon, to come to the August work/party weekend and/or to do Early Build, let me know now. If you qualify, I’ll put you on the list now.

New Spanky’s Website

Our new website will be unveiled by the end of this week. You all can begin signing-up and paying camp dues this weekend! The site won’t be complete… actually… it never will be, as it’s a living, breathing site that will be updated, augmented, and improved often. We are currently beta-testing and tweeking the site. I may contact you to help with the beta-testing.

NOTE: If you are a member of the Spanky’s Staph, you will note (at the bottom of this newsletter) that you have a new email addy… yay! Please contact Deryk (aka SpankIT) for help setting up your mailbox. spankit@spankys.org

When we decided to create a new website (because the old site’s functionality was so limited and “yahoo sitebuilder” basically sucks… and can no longer be updated) our IT team finally agreed that WordPress would be the best bet, for myriad reasons. However, I didn’t know how complicated WordPress and Elementor are to learn. It’s like learning to speak Turkish, I swear!

So we (Deryk and I) are still looking for any help from anyone with experience with WordPress and Elementor… to do some of the more advanced functions. Please contact me if you can help.

Camp Dues

So Camp dues are $325.00 per Spanker if paid this month. Dues will increase by $25.00 each month if paid later (i.e. $350.00 if paid in April… $375,00 if paid in May… etc.).

You must pay camp dues in advance to be considered for STS tickets… we are beta-testing the website, but you should be able to pay dues (and sign-up) by the end of this week.

FREELOADER DUES

Freeloader dues can also be paid on the SWB website and cost $800.00.

FINANCIAL HARDSHIP CASES

Spanky’s projected budget for 2022 is also posted on our new website – Dues page.

If you paid dues in 2020 and you’re unable to attend Bman this year, contact me. We would love it if you made that a donation to Spanky’s, but we can offer you a partial refund… a portion of those dues paid for a share of 2.5 years of Spanky’s year-round expenses. You helped SWB survive through the pandemic. Thank you!

SWB T-Shirt Design and Sticker Design

At this point, the formatting isn’t important (jpeg, etc). You can even do a sketch on paper and send me a pic of it. Deadline for submissions is June 1^st. Questions? Email me.

SWB Staph

Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC – Head Mutha Fukka In Charge

admiralpainjoy@spankys.org

Major D (Doug) – The Camp for Sensual Pleasures Leader & Mover of Flowing Electrons & Cartographer & Civic Planner

major-d@spankys.org

SpankIT (Deryk) – SWB Information Technology Geek

spankit@spankys.org

Olaf (Olaf) – Camp Engineer and Master Macerator

olaf@spankys.org

Niloc (Colin) – SWB Security Team

niloc@spankys.org

Red Queen (Amanda) – Ticket Maven and Mistress of Namebadges (and harsh critic of dance moves)

redqueen@spankys.org

Dano – Lead builder (and history professor) – Floaters/Infrastructure

dano@spankys.org

Yoyo – Potable water “perv”eyor and RV technician

yoyo@spankys.org

Eve – Mistress of Morsels (and hangover magnet) – Coffee Caretakers

eve@spankys.org

Sky – Civic Planner and Administer of pneumatic red cheeks (and wears the same kilt every day)

sky@spankys.org

For Now & For Later (Bob & Tanya) – LNT Coordinators – Daily LNT Staff – Final Mooping coordinators

fornowandforlater@spankys.org

Christopher Robbin (aka “Code Blue”) – LNT coordinator emeritus

codeblue@spankys.org

Tripp & Gwyn (and purveyors of dice games) – Bar Tenders and Bar Backs

tripp@spankys.org

strawberrytallcake@spankys.org

Lazy Bar Slut (Olivia) & Danielle – Lead Mistresses – MOD Squad (and lovable freaks!) – Stage Dancers

lazybarslut@spankys.org

danielle@spankys.org

Dirty Dan – DJ Coordinator… event planner (and recto-cranially inverted legend) – DJs

dirtydan@spankys.org

Blackbird & Amethyst – RV Services Managers (wash your hands after meeting them)

blackbird@spankys.org

amethyst@spankys.org

Quantum Glen – BufferZone Manager & Director of Blinky Things (and voice for Movie Fone)

quantum@spankys.org

Art Cars:

Boss Hog (the giant warthog) – Major-D

Illuminaughti (disco dancefloor w/ stripper pole & spank-o-matic) – John M. (Sky)

The Magic Carpet – Steve J. (Twisted)

Spanky's Wine Bar

This Will All End in Tears

The Paddler

Current

August (Part 2) 2023

Messages from Your AdmiralWhat to do Upon Arrival at SWBLaw EnforcementRV Info, Procedures, and TipsHow Electric Works at SWBCamp ShowersThe Final Work/PartyBman Tix and Vehicle PassesCamp Breakdown and Loading (aka Strike!)

MESSAGES FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

WHAT TO DO UPON ARRIVAL AT SPANKY’S

LAW ENFORCEMENT

RV INFO AND TIPS

HOW THE ELECTRIC WORKS AT SWB

HOW THE SHOWERS WORK AT SWB

THE FINAL WORK/PARTY

CAMP BREAKDOWN AND LOADING (AKA… STRIKE!)

PAST

2023

Messages from Your AdmiralSWB Events ListingVillage MapSWB Appetizer ProgramPacking for Bman/Spanky’sWUSSI – Workshift Sign-Ups OPEN!2 More Work/Party WeekendsLeave No Trace (part 5)

MESSAGES FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

SWB EVENTS LISTING

Village Map

SWB APPETIZER PROGRAM

PACKING FOR BMAN/SPANKY’S

WUSSI – WORKSHIFT SIGN-Ups!

TWO MORE WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 5

SWB T-Shirts for SaleWAPs (early build – last call)WiFi at Spanky’sWUSSI – Workshift Sign-Ups OPEN!2 More Work/Party WeekendsLeave No Trace (part 4)Bman Tix and Vehicle PassesRV Mating and RideSharesComing in the next issue of The Paddler

WB T-SHIRTS and PATCHES FOR SALE

WAPs (LAST CALL – WORK ACCESS PASSES… FOR EARLY BUILD)

WiFi AT SPANKY’S

WUSSI – WORKSHIFT SIGN-Ups OPEN!

TWO MORE WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 4

BMAN TICKETS AND VEHICLE PASSES

RV MATING AND RIDESHARES

A Message from your AdmiralSWB Has Been PlacedWAPs (early build)4th of Juplaya Burning Man TicketsWUSSI – Workshift Sign-Ups OPEN!Work/Party WeekendsLeave No Trace (part 3)Send Us Your Pics For The SWB WebsiteAnyone Have a Vehicle Disabled Placard?Coming in the next issue of The PaddlerSWB Staph

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

SWB HAS BEEN PLACED

(by Admiral Painjoy – HMFIC)

WAPs (WORK ACCESS PASSES FOR EARLY BUILD)

(by Dano – CLIT)

4th OF JUPLAYA

(by Admiral Painjoy)

BURNING MAN TICKETS

(by Red Queen – SWB Ticket Maven)

WUSSI – WORKSHIFT SIGN-Ups OPEN!

(by Code Blue – Supreme Commander of Workshifts)

WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS – Redux

(by Ish-a-licious – Quartermaster & Work Party Manager)

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 3 – MOOP CONTROL!

(Ongoing series by For Now & For Later – SWB LNT Managers)

SEND US YOUR SWB PICS FOR THE WEBSITE

(by SpankIT… SWB Technology Guru)

WE STILL NEED SOMEBODY WITH A HANDICAPPED PLACCARD

(by Admiral Painjoy)

COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE PADDLER

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR ADMIRAL

APJ’s announcement #2..

PLACEMENT SCHEDULE (by Lieutenant Dan)

BURNING MAN TICKETS – STEP to it! (by Red Queen)

RV SERVICES (by Amethyst – RV Services Manager)

TWO MORE WORK/PARTY WEEKENDS (by Ish-a-licious – Quartermaster & Work Party Manager)

LEAVE NO TRACE – Part 2 – What is LNT/MOOP?

STILL LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY WITH A VEHICLE “DISABLED PLACARD”? (by APJ)

SWB EVENTS AND DJing (by DJ Dirty Dan)

SECURITY AT SWB (and the job of Camp Bitch)

4TH OF JUPLAYA! (by APJ)

VOUCHING FOR A NEWBIE (by Lootenant Dan)

COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE PADDLER

Camp Dues… are due!

Burning Man Tickets

Burning Man Tickets Part 2 (STEP to it!)

RV Services

Work/Party Weekends

WAPs (early build passes)

SWB needs somebody to tow a big-ass generator

Leave No Trace (part 1)

Anyone have a vehicle Disabled Placard?

What video was supposed to be in the newbie vetting email?

Coming in the next issue of The Paddler

CAMP DUES… are due! (by Amethyst – SWB Treasurer)

Messages from Your Admiral
What to do Upon Arrival at SWB
Law Enforcement
RV Info, Procedures, and Tips
How Electric Works at SWB
Camp Showers
The Final Work/Party
Bman Tix and Vehicle Passes
Camp Breakdown and Loading (aka Strike!)

Messages from Your Admiral
SWB Events Listing
Village Map
SWB Appetizer Program
Packing for Bman/Spanky’s
WUSSI – Workshift Sign-Ups OPEN!
2 More Work/Party Weekends
Leave No Trace (part 5)

SWB T-Shirts for Sale
WAPs (early build – last call)
WiFi at Spanky’s
WUSSI – Workshift Sign-Ups OPEN!
2 More Work/Party Weekends
Leave No Trace (part 4)
Bman Tix and Vehicle Passes
RV Mating and RideShares
Coming in the next issue of The Paddler

4^th OF JUPLAYA